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FLASH WILL NEVER DIE WHILE WE'RE ALIVE!

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MariogD 2019-06-07 07:54:56

I like the scene, especially the moment when after drama scene there is some humor element to change sad situation. The fast changes are risky, but generally IMO here it fits.

Mejson 2019-06-07 07:54:56

Thanks, I think that this scene came out very well. :)
So you are not angry? That's good... :P
The whole action already has - 4 minutes and 25.3 seconds. :P

AzureDragoonGX 2019-06-07 18:29:17

Definitely a lot going on with this extra-long segment. Hardly any doubt Steve and Keni would hit it off. Rowny in trouble and Zip having a difficult time seeing another one (possibly) go, and a little comedic bit to maintain at least decently high spirits. Awaiting to see how this enlarged team will continue to survive.

Strange to finally hear my voice on an animation. Definitely will need to enunciate a bit more when I begin voicing more lines again. I do think it's a bit funny that I don't identify myself (neither does God-DL for that matter, but yeah). I suppose Delsin's gonna come up at least a few times later on this episode regardless.

Also, let me know when you guys have a completed, translated script for later scenes and episodes because the notice makes me think that the performance is only a part of the battle; coherently written dialogue also plays a factor. And as a bit of a writer myself, I feel compelled to assist in the department. :)

Mejson 2019-06-07 18:29:17

It's nice to see you (anyway always :) ) my friend. :P I'm impressed - you overtook Cyberdevil :)

People met again, and some acquaint - although I admit that the circumstances aren't the best (Steve met a similar psychopath :P, and Zip unfortunately saw his friend in a critical condition :/).

Yes, after a sad moment - I should cheer up the viewer, but I must admit that we wn't always succeed...

Survive? I admit that it's a lottery - the mother nature can be very capricious... However, the heroes, who are very unpredictable, will reduce their chances...

Well, your voice may sound different to you because you've been recording it a long time ago. However, we have agreed that we like it very much. :P

Delsin is well organized and they have humble in himself, so I think that nothing bad will happen to him. :)

Your help will be very useful, because the details have not been determined yet and I don't know how to look like it's this to the end... :P :P :P

Mejson 2019-06-08 08:47:47

In that case, let's get started immediately...

Scene 9 and it's events (individual moments):

1. Mejson, Delsin, Steve are going left, and Candy, God-DL and MariogD are riding on an ant.
2. MariogD asks God-DL: "It's comfortable?" And God-DL nods in reply.
3. Suddenly, Mejson says: "It's quiet..." and Steve says: "Too quiet...".
4. In front of the heroes (in the background) there is a bush (its branches enter the terrace).
5. Suddenly an ant jumps from one of the leaves. There's some strange (donuts grow on it)...
6. Suddenly, next to Mejson, is going Candy. Mejson looks at him in surprise and asks anxiously, "What are you doing?" Candy doesn't react. Mejson says disturbed: "Candy...".
7. Candy approaches the ant and tries to touch her head, and she doesn't move the feelers and suddenly grabs Candy by the forearm and does not let go. Candy screams and tries to release (blood flies from his forearm).
8. Mejson runs up and pulls him by the hand (he tries to free him) but the ant is holding too much.
9. Suddenly an arrow flies and digs into the ant's head, and after a while two more. The ant falls to the ground and Candy is free. Mejson turns around and says: "Thanks".
10. Suddenly, more ants appear and the battle begins.

11. The heroes win for a moment, and then a lot of ants appear. Mejson screams: "Retreat!", but Steve is having a great time and isn't going to run away...
12. Suddenly the ants catch him and you can't help him anymore... Candy's ant is bitten in the back leg by a zombie (bad) ant...
13. Mejson yells: "No!" MariogD shakes him and shouts: "We must escape!" Everyone is withdrawing...

AzureDragoonGX 2019-06-08 22:38:05

@Mejson We should probably move these to private mail posts so that lurkers don't get spoiled on scenes too soon. ;D

1. May I suggest a mutual nod as they separate? If it starts with them diverging, viewers might get confused that they suddenly split up. (I suppose Keni, Zip and Rowny are also staying put in the fort too; that reminds me, where'd Mazurek go?).
2. I would go with MariogD saying "Is it comfortable?" as I think it is pretty clear that he is referring to riding on the ant; it's makes it seem as though he is erroneously curious about the experience he already felt. If you want a more personal dialogue, may I suggest "Are you comfortable?"
3. If Steve is intentionally joking about the conflict, then this is fine. If he is merely agreeing, then maybe add a "Hm, too quiet" instead to make that distinction.
4-5. Should be good. You can add an instance where Delsin notices the insect before everyone else due to his scout instincts.
6-10. No need for any extra dialogue. Works as you describe as is.

For the fight, we can probably start with more ants coming from the bush. One crawls incredibly close, but Steve dropkicks it away, initiating the conflict. Delsin runs into the scene as well, tossing Mejson his spare weapon while Mejson orders Delsin to extract Candy from the fight.

Back to Steve, he jumps over a pincer attempt by one ant, landing on top of its head and stabbing it. He backflips off of it with the stake still in his hand and throws it into the face of another on-comer. Steve goes to retrieve it, relying on Mejson wading a pursuer with his own stick while he does so.

If you need further help on that scene, I'll give some.

11-12. After they all realize that Steve isn't coming, one yells his name back at him. This could be the reason why he suddenly gets overwhelmed too.
13. Candy sheds a tear before the dying ant, prompting one character to take him with as they retreat.

Mejson 2019-06-08 22:38:05

Dude, you don't have to worry - no strangers enter here, so you can write here, and besides, I want everyone from the team to see and comment and I don't intend to "play" in private messages. :P

1. Well, it's obvious that the rest stayed, and that team went to scout. Mazurek, after all, stayed on the tower - it can be seen at the end of scene 8. :)

2. MariogD isn't want to make conversations (because God-DL can't speak) and throws (deliberately) this question indifferently and quite uncultured, so it's supposed to be. :P

3. Steve correct the (final) phrase of concern expressed by Mejson, so we have deliberately done so. In addition, the heros want to be quiet (they feel the pressure of the surroundings), so that's why they say not full sentences, because it's very suspicious...

4-5. Okay, I'll make Delsin go first and stop the team (he's focused and hesitates his eyes) before the ant appears. :)

6-10. Ok, cool. :P

Well, there are several of them (remember that there will be a lot later). Steve runs around Mejson and Candy (the kid is terrified and escape to his ant) and attacks the nearest ant. Delsin (actually a good idea) throws weapons to Mejson - a standard sharpened stick and stays close to him.

The next fragment is not clear to me - I don't know what you mean. Maybe this: Steve jumps on the ants head and sticks her stick on the head. Then he pull out his wepon and throws in another, then runs up and hits it with that weapon attached to his hand (many times he sticks her spikes (madness)). Mejson is behind, so Steve is alone.

We definitely have to come up with actions - what happens with each character.

11-12. In addition to Mejson, others are too scared to think about Steve and are worried about each other. Steve gets overwhelmed because he fell into a vortex of madness and hears nothing - even as Mejson screams.

13. A good ant doesn't die - it only gets injured in it's leg (again) - this is intentional and will be important in the future.

I'm still waiting what my brother will say...

SayMeBott 2019-06-09 14:34:52

I can't wait for the premiere so much. It looks better and better. I have impression that dynamics have improved - this is only my observation?

Mejson 2019-06-09 14:34:52

I am glad that at last you participate in our discussions. :)

Nice to hear that. :P

No, we used the highest frame rate, but that's not all we have a larger movie size (1000x700) and more options for changing the quality of the movie... and super dubbing: P

Greetings, my friend :)

MariogD 2019-06-09 18:14:00

@Animetion24
I also think that scenario issues should be discussed somewhere else,
but I don't know where.

-----------
1. May I suggest a mutual nod as they separate? If it starts with them diverging, viewers might get confused that they suddenly split up. (I suppose Keni, Zip and Rowny are also staying put in the fort too; that reminds me, where'd Mazurek go?).
------------

Due to long process of creating scenes, it is required to show many things
offscreen. The scene where Mejson gathers team to scout and says
"Mariogd, Delsin and Steve go with me to scout" is not necessary.

But I think we have to show more about main story. Because now they
are going somewhere, and that is all what viewers know.
Unfortunetely Mejson does not want to show info about main story.

------------
2. I would go with MariogD saying "Is it comfortable?" as I think it is pretty clear that he is referring to riding on the ant; it's makes it seem as though he is erroneously curious about the experience he already felt. If you want a more personal dialogue, may I suggest "Are you comfortable?"
------------

I totally agree, but voices are recorded and we dont want to change them.
I think that in the next part we have to make double check,
sometimes texts could be more sensible.

------------
3. If Steve is intentionally joking about the conflict, then this is fine. If he is merely agreeing, then maybe add a "Hm, too quiet" instead to make that distinction.
------------

The same as 2. point.

------------
4-5. Should be good. You can add an instance where Delsin notices the insect before everyone else due to his scout instincts.
I think we should consider it.

Sounds good!

------------
11-12. After they all realize that Steve isn't coming, one yells his name back at him. This could be the reason why he suddenly gets overwhelmed too.
------------

@Mejson someone screaming "Steeeve!", is good option. Do we have that voice?

------------
13. Candy sheds a tear before the dying ant, prompting one character to take him with as they retreat.
------------

YES! (I saw that @Mejson told that ant is not dead, but still Candy should be taken by someone from the ant. Or maybe ant should take Candy and run?)

Mejson 2019-06-09 18:14:00 (Updated 2019-06-10 04:49:30)

You have nothing to worry about, seriously...

1. Well, unfortunately, you have to guess, just like my brother wrote.

In Reduce 2, the plot will be explained a little - what would it be like if everything was shown immediately. Linden.

2-3. I still stick to what I wrote.

4-5. I've already written it, bro. Heheh.

I've already written :P, and Candy is runing like sick chicken. :P

11-12. I don't know, we only have "Steve..." with a hint of irritation. I'm will try to change it, but I don't know if it will work...

13. OK, we'll do it - Candy comes to the ant and we'll show you how the zombie ant just before the escape bites the Candy's pet.

MariogD 2019-06-09 18:14:55

Hello @SayMeBott nice to see here you!

Cyberdevil 2019-06-10 06:45:18

So much discussion going on here already! :) I don't know what I might contribute to this... seems changes may be on route. Do like where it's going. Scene 9 seems intriguing too.

Mejson 2019-06-10 06:45:18

Cool, I can do it, but how do you like scene 8? There is a lot of excitement. :)

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