FLASH WILL NEVER DIE WHILE WE'RE ALIVE!
Age 38, Male
Senior Software QA
Second degree IT studies
Kozienice, Poland
Joined on 7/27/08
"Perhaps in between looking ahead and sideways, the duo also looks at the ground, pushing aside any small leaves and blades of grass to see if there are any tracks, husks, or slime trails? Since Delsin is a scout, he will need to make note of the wildlife the team will encounter on the new maps he makes"
I like idea, @Mejson definitely you have to add something like that
@Animetion24, aaaaah and yes, when Delsin examines a place, he also writes something down (on another leaf).
Seems to be a lot of action here, just a small dialogue correction, it’s “I don’t care”, not “I’m don’t care”.
Ok, thanks for the proofreading!
@Animetion24, I updated the scene, tell me if it's ok now.
@Mejson It's looking good now.
Thanks for the help! I suspect it needs help figuring out the whole area / porch - details and objects.
@Mejson scene after updates is nice. @Animetion24 thank you for support and your work.
Really doesn't seem like you are stopping. XD
I guess the 'Blackout.' at the end implies it fades to black, nothing with the characters?
Another great part...
Sure, not XD. Don't be as happy becouse when all the scenes will be scheduled, it will be VA recording XD
Yes, the scene fades to black.
Thanks!
Ah but that should be something to be happy about too! XD Been a while since I recorded something for this... wonder how many scenes there'll be in this part?
Nice.
S cool! You will definitely record well this time too! You have potential! :D
I don't know how many scenes yet, but a lot because it will be: Part I, Part II and Part III. XD
I hope so! :)
Ah right, and the planning stage encompasses all of them I guess?
Yes! I have no idea how these scenes will be divided (which scenes into which part) XD
Ah it's a puzzle too, not all linear... interesting to see how it ends up then.
You will see! :P
Looking forward to it! :)
AzureDragoonGX
Great to hear you liked my previous post Mejson!
Now for Scene 2:
1-3 - Perhaps Bill and/or Delsin see something signature to this place they're exploring, such as a special rock formation or a branch that broke and is making a triangle with itself and the ground. Essentially gives Delsin a landmark to draw in 3. Otherwise some dialogue updates at the bottom.
4 - Perhaps in between looking ahead and sideways, the duo also looks at the ground, pushing aside any small leaves and blades of grass to see if there are any tracks, husks, or slime trails? Since Delsin is a scout, he will need to make note of the wildlife the team will encounter on the new maps he makes. Perhaps they might just find the old shell of an adolescent earwig, cluing them to their presence here in this region (which is ofc confirmed by Bill being attacked by one).
5-7 - Dialogue updates below. Maybe what I suggested in 4 can also be done during these and in between the conversation.
8 - This should be good, except how it's executed could influence 9 and 10. Would Delsin still be behind Bill when he shoots at the earwig? That would mean he would have to swing around them both if he wants to shoot at the insect's head to stop it from killing Bill yeah?
9+10 - See 8. Otherwise good to go.
11 - Probably a no-brainer, but Delsin ought to be dragging Bill out from underneath the dead insect and picking him up before having the conversation yeah? Otherwise some dialogue updates.
Dialogue:
Bill: "This Mejson..." -> "This Mejson fellow..."
Delsin: "Uh-huh... yea?" -> "Yeah? What about him?"
Bill: "Why are you listening to him? He seems kind of distracted" -> "Why are you lot following him? He always looks unfocused.
Delsin: "Yeaaa... He's been through a lot and lost a great comrade lately... but he's a good man and a devoted leader" -> "That's true... He's been through a lot, the latest being the loss of a great ally. Still, he's a good man and a devoted leader."
Delsin: "He lost the most... but... I'm sure he'll be back on his feet soon" -> "I'm certain he'll get back on his feet soon." (I think the loss part is a little too redundant. The previous sentence makes things positive, so maybe let's keep it that way)
Delsin: "I wish you could have seen how we fought..." -> "If only you could have seen how we fought before."
Bill: "I'm don't care..." -> "I wouldn't have cared."
Delsin: "It was a big piece of motherfucker..." -> "That was one big piece of shit." (could replace "piece of shit" with "mofo", but it ought to be one or the other; combining them doesn't really work ^^')
Bill: "Thanks..." -> "Thanks for that."
Mejson
Yes of course! Of course not everything, but you will always come up with something awesome! :)
First things first:
- In fact, I didn't say that Reduce 3 takes place at the vernada. Sorry...
- Well, I will be describe the elements to which heroes will react and we will add / invent some other background elements and objects later.
- @Animetion24 what do you think about Discord? It would be easier to communicate.
1 - 3. Well, that's what they did, but because the viewer cannot see what is on the map, like in 1-3 (this makes our life easier because it is difficult to determine what the whole map should look like).
4 - Yes, exactly like that... I missed it, thanks! I have ideas for this scene (Scene 2), but for the next ones I will ask for a list of objects (small and large / interactive / decorative).
During the conversation (Bill and Delsin), the protagonists find a "eaten" (small) fragment of the floor (the entire porch floor is wooden) and "digested" wood by some insects.
Reaction: Bill passes by this place and just glances (indifferently). Delsin interested - examines and watches / squats and touches (squint one's eyes). Bill is waiting for a companion. When Delsin checking the place, the "original" conversation is interrupted / stopped by Bill. Bill (indifferent): "What did you find there?". Delsin (examining) without looking at Bill: "It's some abandoned feeding ground".
5 - 7. Modification as above. I don't think Bill asks more (about examined place) because he is indifferent. Yes?
8 - Delsin doesn't have to change position, because Bill doesn't cover bug (he is lying on the ground and the earwig is on top of him). He need a moment to aim.
9 - 10. OK.
11. After killing the worm, Bill is safe, but at the end... Yes! - I shoud add continuation - this is:
Bill starts trying to move the insect's body / get out, but is unable to and give up in annoyance and curses: "Damn!" Bill watches this, then says, "Wait, I'll help you" and starts going to Bill. Blackout.
There is no point in wasting time doing an animation - pull Bill out from under an insect.
Also, near the place of attack, we add some damage ("eaten") to the wood, a piece of the bug shell and some insect droppings, etc.