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Mejson
FLASH WILL NEVER DIE WHILE WE'RE ALIVE!

Age 37, Male

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Second degree IT studies

Kozienice, Poland

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Reduce 3 - Scene 8 (Planning/Draft)

Posted by Mejson - November 11th, 2021


iu_469240_2525285.png


Welcome everyone!


First, I have a question. @Animetion24, how are you? All good? How's your writing narrative? I can not wait because it will definitely be super cool!


Summarizing the previous Poster (VA - Part I):

Cyberdevil - MariogD (30) - 3/3 Done (100%)

Cyberdevil - Candy (2) - 3/3 Done (100%)

Cyberdevil - Diablo (3) - 3/3 Done (100%)

Animetion24 - Delsin (22) - 0/3 Done (0%)

ChordC - Mr. Mate (11) - 3/3 Done (100%)

SayMeBott - Bott* (6) - 3/3 Done (100%)

Plasmarift - Mejson (33) - 2/3 Done (66.6%)

Plasmarift - Bill (38) - 2/3 Done (66.6%)


Thank you for a great job! A few more are missing, but (for Part I) we have dubbing the characters ready. @Animetion24, how is the recording going? Do you still have a sore throat?


Now let's move on to the main point of the program. There was no Poster for a long time, well... it took a long time to prepare files for the character (dubbing) which I got from you. Still in awe of the quality - great job. In Reduce 3 there will be a brand new interface and navigation that I can recount if this interests you... but I guess I'm losing the plot. Planning Scene 8 took me more time that I was expecting, well... it is even longer than the previous ones XD


Thanks for helping @ChordC & @MariogD to plan & improve this scene.


What do you think about it, @Cyberdevil@Animetion24@ChordC@MariogD@SayMeBott?


Regards,

Mejson


Scene 8 - Hide-and-seek

Inscription (on black background):

Episode 8
Day 30
(~20 minutes later)
7:33 AM


Action:

1. The scene begins in place where Bill was pinned to the ground by a common earwig (at the end of scene 2). On the right, a large galosh, on the left, a pot (with a plant). Between these two objects there is a spider web (above), which was also in scene 2. In the foreground, on the worn (more dirty left - in front of the galosh) floor (eaten by insects and some excrement) is the body of a common earwig (he was killed by Delsin) along with a spear (ammo) in the head.

2. The body of the insect has started to rot - it has changed color and there is a small cloud of stink (rot) around it. Additionally, this body is a bit incomplete (slightly eaten). On the left and right side (this body) there are fire ants interested in the body. These ants are a bit smaller than black ants (probably a young colony). The camera slowly moves on these insects (slow camera movement). Then a piece of Mr. Mate's head and then Mejson head peeks out from behind the galosh.

3. Camera zoom in on these characters. At the moment of zooming in, the wellington boot becomes translucent (the same as in Pass of Time in the scene of the meeting between Rash and Keni) showing the figures of the characters. Right after a moment zooming in, Mejson is the first to say: "So what's the plan?". Then smiles and adds jokingly: "Mate, I can't do a frontflip with this thing on my back" (on the Mejson's back is a water container).

4. Mr. Mate looks in his direction, then asks jokingly: "So just like when you don't have it on your back?" and smiles with little squint one's eyes. Mejson also a little squint one's eyes and smiles. They both get serious and look at the fire ants again. Camera zoom in on Mejson. He squint one's eyes and says: "Really now, what's the plan?". Silence. After a while, Mejson looks down. Camera moves down slightly. Mejson says: "Mate?" and after that he says in surprise (his eyebrows rise): "Where the hell did you go?!" (Mr. Mate disappeared).

5. Camera zoom out. Mejson looks around, then scratches his head. Camera more zoom out and moves to the left (you can see part of the galosh and the plant pot - on the left). Mr. Mate leans out from behind the plant pot and whispers: "Pssst! Over here...". Mejson looks in his direction (his pupils is narrow) and also says in a whisper shocked: "But?... But?... How?!". Mr. Mate smiles and then says: "I'm like a shadow...". Mejson squint one's eyes and says: "Suuure...". After a while, Mejson says: "What about me?".

6. Mr. Mate says: "Hold on a sec". Then he looks around and picks up a lump of earth (dried mud from the galoshes). Then he looks at Mejson and asks: "Ready?". Mejson nods. Mr. Mate throws the nugget to the right, the fire ants take an interest and run to the right. Mejson runs through and disappears behind the pot plant. Camera zoom in. The pot plant becomes translucent. Mr. Mate looks at Mejson and says smiling: "Like a cheetah!" Mejson looks at Mr. Mate, squint one's eyes and says "Fuck off!".

7. After a while, Mr. Mate turns and goes to the left. Mejson shrugs and follows Mr. Mate. After a while, a close-up on Mejson's head (Mejson's mind - background change). Mejson (face side) and Steve's face (face front) appears behind his head. Steve says: "You busy?". Mejson thinks: "No, it's cool. What's up?". Steve says: "Is that your new boyfriend?". Then he squint one's eyes and smiles before disappearing after a while. Mejson grimaces an eyebrow, squint one's eyes and replies: "Very funny...".

8. Steve appears from the back (face side) and says: "Cheer up, old friend! It's a lovely day!". Mejson takes a look at Steve and thinks: "Uh-huhm...". Steve disappears. Then Mejson raises his eyebrows indifferently and thinks (still have squint one's eyes): "What do you want?". Steve appears (face front) behind Mejson's head and says: "This guy's good". Mejson's expression returns to normal and he thinks: "Yea... so?". Steve is seriously saying: "Don't loose him like you lost me...".

9. Mejson lowers his eyebrow a little, a little quint one's eyes, and thinks: "I...". Suddenly, Mr. Mate says: "Are you listening to me?!" (a bit quieter). Steve disappears and Mejson comes back to reality (background change). In front of Mejson there is an irritated Mr. Mate looking at his eyes. Mejson blinks with a surprised face, and after a moment says: "Yea, sure...". Mr. Mate leans back a bit and puts his hands on his hips and asks distrustfully: "Yeah? What did I say?".

10. Mejson a little squint one's eyes, raises his eyebrows, scratches his head and says: "Ummm...". Mr. Mate leans forward depressed, puts his hand on his face and <sighs>. Then he straightens up, looks down at the ground and says: "What I'm trying to say is...". Mejson straightens up, lowers his hands and focuses on Mr. Mate. Mr. Mate raises his head and looks at Mejson, raising his eyebrows in a gentle look. Then he says: "I'm sorry for hurting you...". Mejson reacts in surprise: "Hmmm?".

11. Mr. Mate continues: "Forgive me for what I said before...". Mejson, even more surprised, says: "Ohh... that...", and then adds: "It's cool, nothing happened". Mr. Mate smiles and Mejson smiles back. After that Mr. Mate looks down at the ground, (his expression is back to normal) he <grunt> when touching his face with his hand, then says as he straightens up and turns around: "Alright, let's get out'a here". Mr. Mate goes left and Mejson follows him. The heroes reached the left side of the area. Blackout.


12. A large digital clock appears on a black background, showing the time: 7:33 AM + <time elapsed in this scene>. Suddenly the time starts running fast (28 minutes) until it stops at: 8:01 AM. Then the clock disappears after a while. The black background fades (transparency) to showing the new area.


13. The scene begins in the area between the previous site and the old base (first base on the porch). There are 3 plant pots here (half of one plant plot is also of the previous area - right side this area). Another one a bit deeper and another one closer. And further on the left is an open space (no objects to hide behind).

14. For a moment, the camera shows the space between the first and second plant pots (apart from the cobwebs between the leaves of the plants, there are also cobwebs between the plant pots - there are many more spider webs). Before the second plant pot, the floor was eaten (damaged) by insects and there is also droppings. There's also a group of small Aphids (feeding on rubbish). Camera zoom in on first plant pot.

15. Mr. Mate comes out from behind the first plant pot, followed by Mejson. Mr. Mate squint one's eyes, then runs up to the group of Aphids, stamps his foot and screams: "Shoo! Shoo!", then adds: "Fucking bugs..." as he watches the Aphids run away. Mejson joins Mr. Mate. Camera a little zoom out. Both heroes look around. Then the camera zoom in. Mejson squint one's eyes, scratching his head, then lowers his hand and says looking at Mr. Mate: "Is it just me, or are there a lot of spiderwebs?".

16. Mr. Mate looks up, squint one's eyes, pulls out the knife and says: "Yeaaa, I agree..." then adds (has a serious expression on his face) turning to Mejson: "I don't like this... stay alert...". Mr. Mate continues to the left, looking around. Camera zoom out and go to right edge of plant pot. There's a small white spider walking up on it (white because it was hatched from egg some time ago). Camera zoom in and go to heroes. They are close to the third plant pot (both are looking around and have knives in their hands).

17. Then the pot plant goes transparent (when characters follow the pot plant) and the camera stops on Mejson who stops (Mr. Mate goes left). Mejson leans back, lifting his head in a grimace and says: "Damn, how far did we go? My back's killing me!". Next is hearing Mr. Mate: "You can do it Grandpa!". Mejson replies: "Sure!". And then quickly returns to his normal position and squint one's eyes at Mr. Mate and says surprised: "Wait... what did you call me?!".

18. Camera go to Mr. Mate (he was crouched). He looks from behind the plant pot and says "Shhh... quiet!". Mejson joins Mr. Mate and also looks outside. Then he (Mejson) says: "What do we got?". Camera go to Left and Front (Diagonally). There are two beetles there, which eat the floor (the floor is destroyed) and there are also droppings. Next, camera returns to heroes. Mr. Mate looks at (seriously) worms and says: "We got two beetles up ahead...".

19. And next he adds: "I don't think we can pass through them unnoticed..." (on the left side of the area there is no objects to hide). Mejson looks (intrigued) at Mr. Mate and asks: "Any suggestions?". Mr. Mate squint one's eyes a little, his eyebrows lower in the wild look and he says: "Let's take'em out". Mejson looks at bugs and asks: "Alright. You taking the left beetle or right?". Mr. Mate says like to himself: "I'm taking both...". Mejson looks at Mr. Mate shocked and reacts: "Wait, what?!".

20. Mr. Mate looks at Mejson, smiles feisty and says: "You heard me. Sit back and enjoy the show". Mejson is shocked and nothing says - observes situations. Mr. Mate after his words runs to the bugs. When he is close to the abdomen of the first worm - he jump on it, and in the next jump he does a deadly blow in the center of the insect head. Then he gets up quickly, turns and doing backflip directly on the head of the second worm by asking a deadly blow (also in head).

21. Then Mr. Mate sits on the bug's head. The camera goes to the right and shows Mejson incoming. Mejson comes over and also sits on the head of the second bug. Mejson looks at Mr. Mate shocked (impressed) and says: "Oh shit... I've never seen anything like that!". Mr. Mate smiles smug and says: "Yeah... I practiced!". Mejson in response is <chuckles>. After a while, they both become serious. Mejson, after a while says: "I've seen enough, shall we have breakfast?".

22. Mr. Mate nods. They both pull out pieces of roast meat. Mejson looks down at the ground. Camera zoom in na Mejson - going to Mejson's mind. Mejson (face side) thinks (seriously): "You're right...". Steve's face (face front) appears behind his head. Steve says (seriously): "Right about what?", Mejson response (seriously): "About him...". Steve smiles, then says, squint one's eyes a little and eyebrows (seriously & sarcastic): "Hahaha, sure I am!". Steve disappears. Mejson squint one's eyes a little, then closes his eye, <sighs> and thinks (hopeful): "Mr. Mate...".

23. He then opens his eye (his face returns to normal) and thinks (hopeful): "If anyone was going to save us from this hellhole, it would be him...". Steve appears from the back (face side) and says (excited): "I told you!". Suddenly, Mr. Mate (a bit irritated): "You seeing things again?". Steve disappears. Mejson back to reality - camera zoom out. Mejson raises an eyebrow and asks (hesitantly): "What are you talking about?". Mr. Mate folds his hands, squint one's eyes, leans back and says firmly: "Really?... You're gonna pretend like nothing's wrong?".

24. Embarrassed Mejson looks at the ground scratching his head. He then lowers his hand and looks embarrassed at Mr. Mate and stays silent. Mr. Mate returns to his normal position and looks softly as he sees Mejson's embarrassment and says: "I specialize in human psychology" then adds: "And you look like you're dead inside". Then he smiles to Mejson. Mejson says (still a bit embarrassed): "Well... yeah" and continues, seriously: "I think I'm going crazy".

25. Mr. Mate grows serious and asks, intrigued (maybe also grieved): "Something from the past?". Mejson <sighs>, <takes a deep breath> closing his eye for a moment. Mr. Mate notices Mejson's anxiety and Mr. Mate says (serious & low tone): "It's ok, you don't need to talk about it...". Mejson gets up and goes to the left next to Mr. Mate (Mr. Mate turned his head to watch Mejson) then stops, puts his hands on his hips, leans back (straightening his sore back).

26. Then he says, looking into space: "Steve... returned. To call my head his home". Mr. Mate inquisitively (curiously) asks: "What does he say in there?". Mejson squint one's eyes a little and says: "He advises me...". Mr. Mate leans forward, looking down at the ground, puts his hand to his chin (thinks) and says: "This looks like a mind's way of dealing with trauma...". 

27. Mejson turn his body to Mr. Mate. Then he squint one's eyes a little and says (a bit maliciously): "Thank you for the diagnosis, Doc Mate". Then he smiles. Mr. Mate smiles too. After a while, Mr. Mate says (serious tone & emotion): "You have people to look over, don't let that slip out of your mind". Mejson raises his eyebrows as his eyes pupils narrow. Then, after a short while, he looks down at the ground, then changes the subject (not looks to Mr. Mate): "Okay, let's get going". Blackout.


28. A large digital clock appears on a black background, showing the time: 8:01 AM + <time elapsed in this scene>. Suddenly the time starts running fast (26 minutes) until it stops at: 8:27 AM. Then the clock disappears after a while. The black background fades (transparency) to showing the new area.


29. The third part (of this scene) is the place where the heroes set up their first base (veranda). From the very beginning, the camera shows walking heroes (towards the base). Mejson and Mr. Mate stops by a simple, low barricade, which reaches the hero's waist (made of: sticks, leaves, wood). Mr. Mate is crouching quickly (he is hiding behind the barricade), he has a serious face. With a gesture of his hand, he orders Mejson to do the same (Mr. Mate is closer, and Mejson is further from viewer).

30. Mr. Mate squint one's eyes and says seriously in a whisper (not looking at Mejson): "What a mess...". Mejson says (also whispering): "What the hell happened here?". Mr. Mate replies in a whisper: "Isn't it obvious?... Mother nature took back her land…". The camera then moves to the left (also zooms out) and shows the base. Everywhere there are a lot of cobwebs on the objects there. Also there are white spiders (young) - for heroes the size of a dog (or a little bigger). The camera returns to the heroes (also zooms in).

31. Mr. Mate says (whispering): "We gotta take’em down". Mejson replies (whispering): "Sure...". After a while, Mr. Mate whispers firmly: "Eyes open!". Mejson turns his head to him, raises one eyebrow. Mr. Mate turns his head towards him and says (whispering) a little embarrassed: "Well... eye". Mejson looks at Mr. Mate sarcastically and squints his one eye (while Mr. Mate cringes his teath, smiling), then Mejson says: "Very funny", rolling his eye as he says that. After a while, he Mr. Mate and Mejson becomes serious again, then Mejson continues: "Let's go...", Mr. Mate looks ahead and nods.

32. Both heroes pull out knives and then jump over the barricade. They run towards (two different) two spiders (spiders are in the two lines, one is deeper one is further to the viewer). Mejson, who is further background, runs towards the spider (this spider is back side to Mejson) in this line. When he's close, he skids on the knee (dust) and then he stabs the knife into the spider's body when he's next to it. The spider begins to squeal, and Mejson quickly pulls out his knife and stabs it similarly, this time into the spider's head, which abruptly goes silent.

33. At the same time (the action of Mejson and Mr. Mate will be shown simultaneously). Mr. Mate runs towards the spider (the one below, this spider is front side to Mr. Mate). This spider reacts and starts walking towards Mr. Mate. When the hero is close, he presses the spider's head to the ground with his foot - they slide (dust) left together until they lose their all speed. Then Mr. Mate makes a quick bow, stabbing the knife into the spider's head. Mr. Mate turns when hears the spider squeal (one that Mejson took care of).

34. After Mejson silences the (first) spider with the deathblow of a knife - Mr. Mate whispers to Mejson: "Shhh...". Mejson looks at him and says in a whisper making a slightly embarrassed face: "Sorry...". Mr. Mate wastes no time and whispers as he gets up: "Follow me...". It starts running a bit up and left and hides behind the pot plant. Mejson's face returns to normal, he without a word gets up and runs after Mr. Mate. Mejson is hiding behind a jar of cucumbers (these two objects are close to each other - plant pot on the left, and the jar on the right).

35. After a while, a spider (probably provoked by noise) walks (to the right) in front of the plant pot. The moment he passes the hidden Mr. Mate (he is only slightly visible), the protagonist leans out and stabs it quickly in the head, and then quickly hides. Mejson (he's also a bit visible from behind the jar) watches this shocked. Then Mr. Mate looks at Mejson and squint one's eyes. Mejson responds whispering: "What?". Mr Mate throws the knife (over Mejson's head). Mejson hides instinctively. 

36. The spider drops and hits the ground (dust). The spider has a knife in its head. Mr. Mate walks over and pulls his knife from the spider's head. Mejson leans out and stares at the spider's body first, and then at Mr. Mate (all time in shocked). Mr. Mate. squint one's eyes a little and whispers to Mejon with a slight disappointment: "This isn't some picnic!". Mejson looks at him without a word and blinks faster eye (coming out of admiration). After a while, Mr. Mate softens (looks gently) seeing at Mejson's reactions. Next Mr. Mate turns around and whispers: "Let's keep going...". Mejson nods (to himself).

37. Mejson and Mr. Mate continues going (they are sneaking) along the plant pot. When they almost end of plant pot, Mr. Mate suprsingly gives a sing (he raises his hand) to Mejson to stop and crouches. Mejson is doing the same. Camera move to the left and there is zoom out. There's a workshop table on the foreground with spider sitting on it. In the background there is big plastic backet where spider is sitting (almost near the ground). Camera is returning to heroes and zoom in. Heroes are still couching (they not seeing each other because Mr Mates strictly observing spiders). Mr Mates whispers: "Ok, you ready?". Mejson whispers: "Right behind you...".

38. They start runing in the same moment (simultaneous action). Mejson kills spider on the plastic bucket with simple hit in the head. Then he quickly takes a step back, and the spider's body hits the ground (dust). Next Mejson looks at Mr. Mate action. Mr. Mate jumps on the rock's stack and throws knife in the spider's head (he wants to make epic kill so knife is thrown lighter). Next he do a backflip that is ending when he land on knife (one foot presses the knife and the other one lands on the spider's head). He wants to show Mejson another spectacular kill. Mejson in the background sees this and is under big impression.

39. Mejson is getting closer to Mr. Mate. In this time Mr. Mate is picking knife from spider head and sees around to be sure that all spiders are dead. Mr. Mate says seriously: "Targets neutralized". Mejson looks at him confused and asks: "Eee... what?". Mr. Mate answers a bit embarrassed: "Sorry, habit from my previous job". Mejson changes the subject and says: "Was that backflip really necessary?". Next Mejson is smiling. Mr. Mate responds: "Of course! It was extremely necessary!". He smiles to Mejson. Camera move up (zoom out) to the plant pot leaves with spider web. They're there drops of water (condensation). Mejson says off-screen: "Maybe not extremely, but… how are we gonna get there?". Mr. Mate responds: "Don't worry, I have an idea". Blackout.


Light effect:

Yellow (morning).


Dialogues:

Mejson: "So what's the plan?"
Mejson: "Mate, I can't do a frontflip with this thing on my back"
Mr. Mate: "So just like when you don't have it on your back?"
Mejson: "Really now, what's the plan?"
Mejson: "Mate?"
Mejson: "Where the hell did you go?!"
Mr. Mate: "Pssst! Over here..."
Mejson: "But?... But?... How?!"
Mr. Mate: "I'm like a shadow..."
Mejson: "Suuure..."
Mejson: "What about me?"
Mr. Mate: "Hold on a sec"
Mr. Mate: "Ready?"
Mr. Mate: "Like a cheetah!"
Mejson: "Fuck off!"
Steve: "You busy?"
Mejson: "No, it's cool. What's up?"
Steve: "Is that your new boyfriend?"
Mejson: "Very funny..."
Steve: "Cheer up, old friend! It's a lovely day!"
Mejson: "Uh-huhm..."
Mejson: "What do you want?"
Steve: "This guy's good"
Mejson: "Yea... so?"
Steve: "Don't loose him like you lost me..."
Mejson: "I..."
Mr. Mate: "Are you listening to me?!"
Mejson: "Yea, sure..."
Mr. Mate: "Yeah? What did I say?"
Mejson: "Ummm..."
Mr. Mate: <sighs>
Mr. Mate: "What I'm trying to say is..."
Mr. Mate: "I'm sorry for hurting you..."
Mejson: "Hmmm?"
Mr. Mate: "Forgive me for what I said before..."
Mejson: "Ohh... that..."
Mejson: "It's cool, nothing happened"
Mr. Mate: <grunt>
Mr. Mate: "Alright, let's get out'a here"
Mr. Mate: "Shoo! Shoo!"
Mr. Mate: "Fucking bugs..."
Mejson: "Is it just me, or are there a lot of spiderwebs?"
Mr. Mate: "Yeaaa, I agree..."
Mr. Mate: "I don't like this... stay alert..."
Mejson: "Damn, how far did we go? My back's killing me!"
Mr. Mate: "You can do it Grandpa!"
Mejson: "Sure!"
Mejson: "Wait... what did you call me?!"
Mr. Mate: "Shhh... quiet!"
Mejson: "What do we got?"
Mr. Mate: "We got two beetles up ahead..."
Mr. Mate: "I don't think we can pass through them unnoticed..."
Mejson: "Any suggestions?"
Mr. Mate: "Let's take'em out"
Mejson: "Alright. You taking the left beetle or right?"
Mr. Mate: "I'm taking both..."
Mejson: "Wait, what?!"
Mr. Mate: "You heard me. Sit back and enjoy the show"
Mejson: "Oh shit... I've never seen anything like that!"
Mr. Mate: "Yeah... I practiced!"
Mejson: <chuckles>
Mejson: "I've seen enough, shall we have breakfast?"
Mejson: "You're right..."
Steve: "Right about what?"
Mejson: "About him..."
Steve: "Hahaha, sure I am!"
Mejson: <sighs>
Mejson: "Mr. Mate..."
Mejson: "If anyone was going to save us from this hellhole, it would be him..."
Steve: "I told you!"
Mr. Mate: "You seeing things again?"
Mejson: "What are you talking about?"
Mr. Mate: "Really?... You're gonna pretend like nothing's wrong?"
Mr. Mate: "I specialize in human psychology"
Mr. Mate: "And you look like you're dead inside"
Mejson: "Well... yeah"
Mejson: "I think I'm going crazy"
Mr. Mate: "Something from the past?"
Mejson: <sighs>
Mejson: <takes a deep breath>
Mr. Mate: "It's ok, you don't need to talk about it..."
Mejson: "Steve... returned. To call my head his home"
Mr. Mate: "What does he say in there?"
Mejson: "He advises me..."
Mr. Mate: "This looks like a mind's way of dealing with trauma..."
Mejson: "Thank you for the diagnosis, Doc Mate"
Mr. Mate: "You have people to look over, don't let that slip out of your mind"
Mejson: "Okay, let's get going"
Mr. Mate: "What a mess..."
Mejson: "What the hell happened here?"
Mr. Mate: "Isn't it obvious?... Mother nature took back her land…"
Mr. Mate: "We gotta take’em down"
Mejson: "Sure..."
Mr. Mate: "Eyes open!"
Mr. Mate: "Well... eye"
Mejson: "Very funny"
Mejson: "Let's go..."
Mr. Mate: "Shhh..."
Mejson: "Sorry..."
Mr. Mate: "Follow me..."
Mejson: "What?"
Mr. Mate: "This isn't some picnic!"
Mr. Mate: "Let's keep going..."
Mr. Mate: "Ok, you ready?"
Mejson: "Right behind you..."
Mr. Mate: "Targets neutralized"
Mejson: "Eee... what?"
Mr. Mate: "Sorry, habit from my previous job"
Mejson: "Was that backflip really necessary?"
Mr. Mate: "Of course! It was extremely necessary!"
Mejson: "Maybe not extremely, but… how are we gonna get there?"
Mr. Mate: "Don't worry, I have an idea"

Tags:

7

Comments

@Mejson it is definetely the longest scene so far. We have to try make next ones a little shorter.

To sum up, scene fine, we develop Mejson illess, Mate & Mejson friedship and Mr Mate fighting skills. Time to go to scene 9.

Honestly? I don't care how long the scenes are... They are supposed to contain what we want :P

Hmm, how you look at it like this. XD

Hey all, I am lagging a bit on the narration and voices, lost track of time, but I should be able to cover ground starting on Sunday.

In the meantime, I can probably look into this scene tomorrow.

Cool, got it. It happens :) Well, on Sundays.

Cool. Thanks!

Mejson: "What happened here?" ==> “What the hell happened here?”

Mr. Mate: "Isn't it obvious?... The fauna demanded its own..." ==> “Nature took back its land…” or “I guess they also need a shelter…” ==> After some correction: “Mother nature took back her land…”

Mr. Mate: "We have to take them down" ==> We gotta take’em down”

Mr. Mate: "Well... eye" ==> “Or should I say…eye…open”

Mejson: "Let's go..." ==> “Very funny, let’s go…”

Mr. Mate: "We're not at the picnic" ==> “We’re not having a picnic”

Mr. Mate: "Ok, are you ready?" ==> “Ok, you ready?”

Mejson: "Behind you..." ==> “Right behind you…”

Mr. Mate: "We've taken down all of them" ==> “Targets neutralized”

Mejson: "This backflip really was necessary, wasn't it?" ==> “was that backflip necessary?” Other option: "You really had to do that, didn't you?"

Mejson: "How are we gonna get there?" ==> “Maybe not extremely, but… How are we gonna get there?”

Mejson: "What happened here?" ==> "What the hell happened here?" - OK

Mr. Mate: "Isn't it obvious?... The fauna demanded its own..." ==> "Isn't it obvious?... Mother nature took back her land…" - Mix version

Mr. Mate: "We have to take them down" ==> "We gotta take’em down" - OK

Mr. Mate: "Well... eye" - This is a humorous sentence from the game, this is how it should stay :P

Mejson: "Let's go..." ==> Mejson: "Very funny" & Mejson: "Let's go..." - OK

Mr. Mate: "We're not at the picnic" ==> "We’re not having a picnic" - OK

Mr. Mate: "Ok, are you ready?" ==> "Ok, you ready?" - OK

Mejson: "Behind you..." ==> "Right behind you…" - OK

Mr. Mate: "We've taken down all of them" ==> "Targets neutralized" - Expansion of the situation

Mejson: "This backflip really was necessary, wasn't it?" ==> "Was that backflip really necessary?" - OK

Mejson: "How are we gonna get there?" ==> "Maybe not extremely, but… how are we gonna get there?" - OK

This really was a long one! :D Wonder what the runtime'll be...

Good scene.

A couple suggestions on the dialog:

"Fuck off! > maybe something a bit less harsh here? Was surprised Mejson reacted that way there - seemed like the cheetah thing was more like a combined compliment/joke? Maybe 'very funny'?

shall we breakfast? > shall we have/eat breakfast?

Sincere thanks and respect!

"Fuck off!" > with ChordC and MariogD, we found it to be perfect.

shall we breakfast? > "I've seen enough, shall we have breakfast?"

1-2. - Good to go.

3-4. - Got some dialogue corrections, see next comment(s). Also, perhaps after Mr. Mate retorts comically at the joke Mejson made, he pushes on the latter's shoulder, much like Keni did with Mazurek in "Pass of Time"? I think it represents the more physical, aggressive nature of Mr. Mate, while still being approachable.

5-6. - Good to go.

7. - Perhaps when Steve appears, the background will change as you say, but it also begins zooming in on Mejson's ear area. Then, when it stops zooming, Steve's mouth swoops in close and whispers to Mejson his lines? It further shows Mejson's mind losing its distinction between reality and thoughts, while also keeping levity pretty high. It also shows that Mejson's psyche is getting worse as a result of the transition from observation to hallucination is becoming more and more seamless.

Alternatively, when the background changes, Mejson continues to walk, but is pushed back by Steve, who warps right in front of him. The mere fact that thoughts are physically restraining him similarly can get the point across.

8. Since you're most likely going to use the behind the head talk in 7., perhaps we can put a little variety on this one? Like Steve slings his arm over Mejson's shoulders and points toward Mr. Mate's direction with his free arm?

9-17. - Good to go.

18. - Do we have an idea of which sort of beetle were talking about here? Scarab? Stag? I know the next few bulletpoints make it moot as Mr. Mate kills them with ease but we might want to keep in mind the insects that are introduced.

19-21. - Good to go.

22-23. - Maybe at one point after Mejson reaffirms to Steve that Mr. Mate is the one, Steve may try to take a piece of his roast meat? Mejson at first retracts his hand defensively, only to double-take between his food and the thought of Steve, making him realize he did that by instinct for nothing. Steve then smiles at the silent joke and disappears, leading to 23.

24-28. - Good to go.

29-30. - Also good to go.

31. - Got a dialogue alternative here. Perhaps Mr. Mate could also say "Keep an eye out?" before remembering Mejson only has one eye to keep out. "Right..." He says, leading to Mejson sighing then saying "It's out."

32-34. - Good to go.

35. - "the protagonist?" As in Mr. Mate? I suppose so as Mejson was confirmed in the next sentence not to have done anything but watch. Just making sure.

36-39. - Good to go.

When Mejson enters the mind and "talks" to Steve, they are alone and have no objects, they are alone in a void. Mejson needs a moment to get out of this "meeting". Others see it as if Mejson was absent with empty eyes. If the explanation is not clear enough, @MariogD will add a comment and explain exactly :P

18 - I don't think it matters what kind of beetles, but how are you interested in it: the tree beetle (eats wood).

31 - ChordC, MariogD and I - we think it's great as it is, but thanks for the great idea.

35 - Sorry I used this accidentally instead of a character nickname or 'he'.

Mejson: "So what's your plan?" -> "So what's the plan?"

Mejson: "Mate, I can't do a frontflip with this thing on my back" -> "Note, I can't somersault while lugging this thing.

Mr. Mate: "You would've done so without it?" -> "So just like when you don't have it on your back?"

Mejson: "Okay, now seriously... What's your plan?" -> "Really now, what's the plan?"

Mejson: "Mate?"

Mejson: "Where the Hell did you go?!"

Mr. Mate: "Pssst! Over here..."

Mejson: "But?... But?... How?!"

Mr. Mate: "I'm like a shadow..." -> "I'm one with the shadows."

Mejson: "Suuure..."

Mejson: "And me?" -> "What about me?"

Mr. Mate: "Hold on a sec"

Mr. Mate: "Ready?"

Mr. Mate: "Like a cheetah!" -> "Practically a cheetah."

Mejson: "Fuck off!"

Steve: "You busy?"

Mejson: "No, it's cool. What's up?"

Steve: "Is that your new boyfriend?"

Mejson: "Very funny..."

Steve: "Cheer up old friend, it's a wonderful day today!" -> "Cheer up, old pal! It's a lovely day!"

Mejson: "Uh-huhm..."

Mejson: "What do you want?"

Steve: "This guy's good"

Mejson: "Yea... so?"

Steve: "Don't loose him like you lost me..." -> "Don't go letting him die like you did with me."

Mejson: "I..."

Mr. Mate: "Are you listening to me?!"

Mejson: "Yea, sure..."

Mr. Mate: "Yeah? What did I say?"

Mejson: "Ummm..."

Mr. Mate: <sighs>

Mr. Mate: "What I'm trying to say is..."

Mr. Mate: "I'm sorry for hurting you..."

Mejson: "Hmmm?"

Mr. Mate: "Forgive me for what I said before..."

Mejson: "Ohh... that..."

Mejson: "It's cool, nothing happened"

Mr. Mate: <grunt>

Mr. Mate: "Alright, let's get out'a here"

Mr. Mate: "Shoo! Shoo!"

Mr. Mate: "Fucking bugs..."

Mejson: "You feel like there are more spider webs here?" -> "Is it just me, or are there a lot of spiderwebs?"

Mr. Mate: "Yeaaa, I agree..."

Mr. Mate: "I don't like this... stay alert..."

Mejson: "Damn, how far did we go? My back's killing me!"

Mr. Mate: "You can do it Grandpa!"

Mejson: "Sure!" -> "Yeah yeah."

Mejson: "Wait... what did you call me?!"

Mr. Mate: "Shhh... quite!"

Mejson: "You see something?" -> "What do we got?"

Mr. Mate: "We got two beetles up ahead..." -> "Two beetles, twelve o'clock."

Mr. Mate: "I don't think we can pass through them unnoticed..." -> "Doesn't look like we can sneak past them..."

Mejson: "Any suggestions?"

Mr. Mate: "Let's take'em out"

Mejson: "What's my role?" -> "Alright. You taking the left beetle or right?"

Mr. Mate: "I'll handle this..." -> "I'm taking both."

Mejson: "Wait, what?!"

Mr. Mate: "You know what? Wait here and enjoy the show..." -> "You heard me. Sit back and enjoy the show."

Mejson: "Oh shit... I've never seen anything like that!"

Mr. Mate: "Yeah... I practiced!" -> "Yup! Practiced that lots!"

Mejson: <chuckles>

Mejson: "I've seen enough, shall we breakfast?" -> "Time for a rest. Shall we have breakfast?"

Mejson: "You're right..."

Steve: "Right about what?"

Mejson: "About him..."

Steve: "Hahaha, sure I am!"

Mejson: <sighs>

Mejson: "Mr. Mate..."

Mejson: "If anyone was going to save us from this hellhole, it would be him..."

Steve: "I told you!"

Mr. Mate: "You seeing things again?"

Mejson: "What are you talking about?"

Mr. Mate: "Really?... You're gonna pretend like nothing's wrong?" -> "Drop the act - you're not fooling me."

Mr. Mate: "I specialize in human psychology"

Mr. Mate: "Besides, you look like you're dead inside" -> "And you look like you're dead inside."

Mejson: "Well... yeah"

Mejson: "I think I'm going crazy"

Mr. Mate: "Something from the past?"

Mejson: <sighs>

Mejson: <takes a deep breath>

Mr. Mate: "It's ok, you don't need to talk about it..."

Mejson: "Steve is back... and... he's alive in my head" -> "Steve... Returned. To call my head his home."

Mr. Mate: "What does he tell you?" -> "What does he say in there?"

Mejson: "He advises me..." -> "He gives me advice."

Mr. Mate: "This looks like a mind's way of dealing with trauma..." -> "This is a type of coping mechanism for your recent trauma."

Mejson: "Thank you for the diagnosis, Doc Mate"

Mr. Mate: "You have people to look over, don't let that slip out of your mind" -> "It's important to keep the people you're leading in the front of your mind."

Mejson: "Okay, let's get going"

Mr. Mate: "What a mess..."

Mejson: "What the hell happened here?"

Mr. Mate: "Isn't it obvious?... Mother nature took back her land…" -> "What always happens - Mother nature reclaimed what we took before."

Mr. Mate: "We gotta take’em down"

Mejson: "Sure..."

Mr. Mate: "Eyes open!" -> "Keep an eye out!"

Mr. Mate: "Well... eye" -> "Oh, right..."

Mejson: "Very funny" -> "It's out."

Mejson: "Let's go..."

Mr. Mate: "Shhh..."

Mejson: "Sorry..."

Mr. Mate: "Follow me..."

Mejson: "What?"

Mr. Mate: "We’re not having a picnic" -> "This isn't some picnic!"

Mr. Mate: "Let's keep going..."

Mr. Mate: "Ok, you ready?"

Mejson: "Right behind you..."

Mr. Mate: "Targets neutralized"

Mejson: "Eee... what?"

Mr. Mate: "Sorry, habit from my previous job" -> "Sorry, lingo from my last job."

(I left the final four out because out of characters, and I didn't see anything wrong there).

After in-depth scrutiny with @MariogD, such findings above.

Mejson: "So what's your plan?" -> "So what's the plan?" - YES

Mejson: "Mate, I can't do a frontflip with this thing on my back" -> "Note, I can't somersault while lugging this thing" - NO

Mr. Mate: "You would've done so without it?" -> "So just like when you don't have it on your back?" - YES

Mejson: "Okay, now seriously... What's your plan?" -> "Really now, what's the plan?" - YES

Mr. Mate: "I'm like a shadow..." -> "I'm one with the shadows" - NO

Mejson: "And me?" -> "What about me?" - YES

Mr. Mate: "Like a cheetah!" -> "Practically a cheetah" - NO

Steve: "Cheer up old friend, it's a wonderful day today!" -> "Cheer up, old pal! It's a lovely day!" - MIX: "Cheer up, old friend! It's a lovely day!"

Steve: "Don't loose him like you lost me..." -> "Don't go letting him die like you did with me" - NO

Mejson: "You feel like there are more spider webs here?" -> "Is it just me, or are there a lot of spiderwebs?" - YES

Mejson: "Sure!" -> "Yeah yeah" - NO

Mejson: "You see something?" -> "What do we got?" - YES

Mr. Mate: "We got two beetles up ahead..." -> "Two beetles, twelve o'clock" - NO

Mr. Mate: "I don't think we can pass through them unnoticed..." -> "Doesn't look like we can sneak past them..." - NO

Mejson: "What's my role?" -> "Alright. You taking the left beetle or right?" - YES

Mr. Mate: "I'll handle this..." -> "I'm taking both..." - YES

Mr. Mate: "You know what? Wait here and enjoy the show..." -> "You heard me. Sit back and enjoy the show" - YES

Mr. Mate: "Yeah... I practiced!" -> "Yup! Practiced that lots!" - NO

Mejson: "I've seen enough, shall we have breakfast?" -> "Time for a rest. Shall we have breakfast?" - MIX: "I've seen enough, shall we have breakfast?"

Mr. Mate: "Really?... You're gonna pretend like nothing's wrong?" -> "Drop the act - you're not fooling me" - NO

Mr. Mate: "Besides, you look like you're dead inside" -> "And you look like you're dead inside" - YES

Mejson: "Steve is back... and... he's alive in my head" -> "Steve... returned. To call my head his home" - YES

Mr. Mate: "What does he tell you?" -> "What does he say in there?" - YES

Mejson: "He advises me..." -> "He gives me advice" - NO

Mr. Mate: "This looks like a mind's way of dealing with trauma..." -> "This is a type of coping mechanism for your recent trauma" - NO

Mr. Mate: "You have people to look over, don't let that slip out of your mind" -> "It's important to keep the people you're leading in the front of your mind" - NO

Mr. Mate: "Isn't it obvious?... Mother nature took back her land…" -> "What always happens - Mother nature reclaimed what we took before" - NO

Mr. Mate: "Eyes open!" -> "Keep an eye out!" - NO

Mr. Mate: "Well... eye" -> "Oh, right..." - NO

Mejson: "Very funny" -> "It's out" - NO

Mr. Mate: "We’re not having a picnic" -> "This isn't some picnic!" - YES

Mr. Mate: "Sorry, habit from my previous job" -> "Sorry, lingo from my last job" - NO

I now also have a draft for the beginning narration too. You all, tell me what you make of this:

Previously on Reduce…

Jason’s tragic sacrifice to fell a hostile, massive mantis cut deep into the hearts and minds of the remaining survivors - Mejson, MariogD, Candy, Zip, and Mazurek. While there is no way to replace such a passionate warrior, there was a reunion with a kindred spirit in Steve to bring spirits back up.

With no time for weakness, Mejson and company pushed on. Luckily, pushing was what Steve did best, and his strength helped to build up the others, particularly Mejson himself, so that they might not just survive in this wilderness, but thrive as well. And for any of those niche situation - like say, going up some steep stairs - an ant that Candy bonded with did wonders.

Numbers further bolstered when the group happened upon a fortress manned by other friendly survivors. They - Keni, Conrad, God-DL, Rowny, and Delsin - too appreciated having some new company, especially when it was made clear that one of them was on death’s doorstep.

But the levity was short-lived. A routine exploration of uncharted lands led to further pain when an ambush orchestrated by an enemy quite literally reborn resulted in Steve’s untimely demise. Zip joined Mejson on the first steps of grief over losing a dear friend, when he too lost Rowny not too long after.

Sadness brewed anger, and anger brewed hostility. The team’s stronger minds in Mejson and Keni came to blows, with MariogD managing to mediate, if only just. They were reminded to keep focused on the mission - survive. And to survive, they’d need to advance while avoiding the conflicts that brought them to this low point.

Easier said than done, though. Steve reintroduced himself to the company - like the enemy that killed him, he was reborn. And with him came some nasty new friends. The second of two ambushes finally broke the psyche of the de-facto leader, as Mejson witnessed firsthand yet another death in Conrad.

This made him easy prey for Steve to pounce, taking one of his eyes. MariogD, Delsin, and finally Candy’s interference ensured that’s all he’d bring with him to the afterlife, though the ants made up for that by trampling God-DL six feet under.

Against overwhelming odds, the team split up. Mejson, MariogD, Candy, Delsin, and the ant escaped through the chaos and moved onward while the rest made their way back to the fortress. In spite of their best attempts to stay put and wait for their colleagues, their hope was for naught and they had to keep going to avoid being ambushed again.

That wasn’t the only thing on Mejson’s mind, though. The zombified Steve lingered as a powerful nightmare, continuing to chomp and chomp on his fear. The last thing the leader needed, with everything being so uncertain, and having a dwindling mental condition to tackle it all.

The group eventually reached a door in the wilderness, and after some failed attempts to scale the structure, they used a little ingenuity and incentive to hitch a ride on a caterpillar to ascend. Only time will tell if the effort will be worth it…

Beautiful text! I like it very much! A bit long, but if someone doesn't want to listen, they will click the 'Skip' button (it will be added). Way to go! Bravo! @Animetion24, great job!

@Animetion24 Awesome work as always, some dialogues are much better, however I might slightly deviate (or completely deviate) from the script when I voice act to make it “conversation like”. Thank you for your help :)

Good job with the eye joke btw ;)

So great! Here's what's been improved (above). The scene turned out great! I like! Jokes and flavors! Brilliant! :D

@Animetion24 we were discussing your propositions with @Mejson yesterday and it turned out that I also wrongly understood how Steve will be shown.
As @Mejson described Mejson mind will be something like 'seperate dimension' so background is changed and everything disappear.

For example I like it very much:
"Maybe at one point after Mejson reaffirms to Steve that Mr. Mate is the one, Steve may try to take a piece of his roast meat?", but now it is not possible because of another approach to "Mejson insanity".

Sorry that you lost time for wonderful ideas that are impossible because of some kind of misunderstanding.

Description of previous events in Reduce is wonderful, thank you for that.

Still encourage you @Animetion24 to join discord channel where we clarify things in real-time!
@Cyberdevil joined few minutes ago!

Thanks brother for summing up everything nicely! Exactly!

@Mejson I found a typo
Mr. Mate: "Shhh... quite!" -> "Shhh... quiet!

Thanks I corrected! Ok, I officially close / approve the scene!

Im late and everything has been said, but... from me..
It's a long scene, but it shows deep relationships. I like it and I am curious about final shape of this scene - "on screen" :)

And @SayMeBott also has join our Reduce discord server!