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Mejson
FLASH WILL NEVER DIE WHILE WE'RE ALIVE!

Age 37, Male

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Second degree IT studies

Kozienice, Poland

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Reduce 3 - Scene 11 (Planning/Draft)

Posted by Mejson - December 28th, 2021


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Welcome everyone!


How was your holidays? My - with my family in a nice atmosphere, quite good. What plans for New Year's Eve? Early wishes - Happy New Year's Eve and Happy New Year! Despite the holidays, I found time to plan Scene 11 :) @SayMeBott and @MariogD and @Mazurek helped me, thanks colleagues for their help!


What do you think about it, @Cyberdevil@Animetion24@ChordC@MariogD@SayMeBott?


Regards,

Mejson


Scene 11 - Carefree

Inscription (on black background):

Episode 11
Day 33
(~3 days later)
1:03 PM


Action:

1. The scene starts in the place where a cage is made (made of sticks and lianas or boards with nails) - it is located to the left and slightly above the firepit. There is a spider inside (on the left side). Candy (crouched) on the left side of the cage - puts his hand in and touches (strokes) the spider. The Spider obviously likes Candy. In front of the cage (at a safe distance), Mejson is sitting (with his back to the viewer) on a larger chest (there are several crates here). On the right side Keni is standing (with his arms folded) - still a bit angry).

2. Keni is halfway through saying: "...and it's his fault". And after a while he adds (squint one’s eyes maliciously): "Especially yours!". Mejson looks at him (side face) indifferent and composed, says: "You think any of us saw this coming?". And then adds: "You surprised us". Mejson looks down sadly (for a moment), then at Keni and continues: "You know perfectly well that in our lives now, losses are unpredictable". Keni comments: "Don't remind me...". And shrugs his shoulders contemptuously.

3. Then he says in a low voice (as if to himself): "What do I care?". Mejson squints one's eyes a bit. A moment of silence. Keni closes his eyes for a moment, <sighs> lowering his hands (regains his composure). He opens his eyes and walks over to the cage. Then, looking at the spider, he asks: "Now what do you need this thing for?". Mejson looks at the spider (turns his head) and says: "Don't you know?". And after a while he adds: "The geeks want to make an antidote with its help".

4. Keni leans against the cage (with both hands) and says (staring mysteriously at the spider): "Why do you really need this thing?". Then Keni brings his face close to the cage, squint one's eyes a bit and says (as if to himself a little quieter): "Maybe to turn it into a weapon?". Mejson did not have time to say anything, because suddenly the spider jumped to the right side of the cage (the spider has covers made of wood on its venom teeth - so that it would not hurt anyone). Candy stops smiling and just stares. Camera zoom in - on this event.

5. Keni (mostly surprised and less scared) falls to the ground (on his back). Instinctively, Mejson <bursts out laughing>, and after a while he puts his hand to his mouth and <tries not to laugh>. Lying on the ground, Keni (frustrated) swears: "Fuck!". And then adds (looking at Mejson): "That wasn't funny!". But after a moment he smiled a bit. The camera goes to the left, stops at the workbench (at that moment, it's a laboratory table). Bott* and Zip are standing in front of the table (with their back to the viewer).

6. There are two (at least) on the table - wood mortar. Also wooden jars for various substances and pieces of aloe. The heroes are working on something. Bott* crushes something into a mortar, and Zip holds the jar in his hand, waits (Zip looks at his companion) for Bott* to finish. Bott* turns to Zip and asks: "Are you okay?". And then adds: "You're surprisingly rather quiet and absent". Zip answers indifferently, looking at Bott*'s hands: "You're imagining things". Bott* raises his eyebrows and comments: "I don't think so".

7. Zip starts to be irritated by Bott’s words and says a little louder and but still firmly: "You must've smuggled some hallucinogens before you got webbed up". Bott* is surprised but still says to Zip calmly: "Well, you've sure changed...". Zip quickly changes the subject: "Are you done?". Bott*, a bit surprised, reacts: "What?". And continues, "Ahh... yes, here". When Bott* saying the last sentence, he passes the mortar Zip. Zip looks at the mortar he is holding and says as if to himself: "Too bad we don't have lab staff".

8. Bott* looks at Zip and says (indifferently, like a scientist): "Any doubts?". Zip looks at Bott* suspiciously and says: "There's no telling right now what's in this mutated venom...". Bott* looks at Zip and says seriously: "Indeed" then adds: "What if there are side effects?". Zip looks suspicious at Bott* and says (seriously): "Best not to mention them". Bott* replies (somewhat maliciously): "Really? The old Zip would've not spared a paragraph". Zip answers him: "Look at Bill, we have no choice".

9. Bott* looks at the Zip from the bottom up (a bit surprised as the Zip is not the same Zip) then straight ahead and says: "All right. Let's keep this quiet". Zip connects the ingredients (which he holds in his hands). Bott* says: "What's next?". Zip replies seriously without looking at Bott*: "Everyone will get their dose". Bott* looks straight ahead and says to himself with little crazy voice: "Little experiments have not hurt anyone yet". The camera goes to the left. The camera stops at the stationary Spear Laucher (similar to Delsin's weapon, but has a few extra rounds in reserve).

10. Delsin is standing in front of the gun (back to the viewer). MariogD stand on the right side of this weapon. MariogD looks at the trigger of the gun (with interest / curiosity). Delsin is watching (possibly comparing the differences). MariogD says excitedly (as if to himself): "Such a clever contraption...". Delsin don't looks to MariogD and says (sarcastic): "Yep. An incredible masterpiece". MariogD looks at Delsin and says (somewhat amused): "Are you jealous?". Then he smiles a little maliciously.

11. Delsin turns his head to MariogD and says indifferently: "Am I jealous?' Absolutely not". And then he adds, biting back: "You're getting more excited than you should be". Then he smiles a little maliciously. MariogD looks shocked for a moment, then replies (also a bit maliciously): "Ah, you're afraid you're going to be replaced soon". MariogD smiles maliciously. Delsin does not get carried away and going back to looking at the guns, says calmly: "Yeah, right". MariogD grabs the handle of the weapon (out of curiosity) - checks the operation (moves the cannon a bit up and down).

12. After a moment, Delsin says as if to himself (a little quieter): "Hmm, looks like the trigger mechanism is very sensitive". MariogD (holding the trigger) and reacts (didn't hear): "What?". A fraction of a second later, the weapon is shooting. MariogD lets go of the trigger abruptly and says: "Whooops...". Delsin looks at him questioningly (with a hint of disappointment). The camera goes to the left. Camera stops at the next place. There is a trap here with a pressure system (the spikes go up and stick into the intruder after you step on a certain place).

13. Rash is standing on the right (facing the previous heroes). Behind the trap there is a crouched Mazurek. Mazurek was working on a trap. Rash looks angry and shouts (furious): "Are you out of your mind?!". And he continues: "You nearly killed us!". Then is hear MariogD's voice (off-screen): "Sorry! My bad!". Rash shrugs, <sighs> and, with a blank expression on his face, says (not too loud, as if to himself): "Moron...". He then turns around and crouches down next to the trap. Mazurek looking at Rash says (indifferently): "I sure didn't miss shit like this".

14. Mazurek noticed Rash's reaction and says: "It's nice to see that some things don't change". And then he smiles (Mazurek). Rash smiles very gently (out of courtesy or respect to Mazurek). After a while, they both become serious. Then Rash asks (curious) looking at Mazurek's hands: "Is it ready?". Mazurek, focused on his work (does not look at Rash) replies: "One moment". After a while, Mazurek says (pleased with himself): "Done!". Mazurek looks at Rash and says (feisty): "Would you like to test?".

15. Rash also smiles feisty, then without a word he reaches for his weapon (on his back - some white weapon made of chitin and metal). He then gets up, walks over, and squats in front of the trap. Mazurek is watching. Rash then gently touches (with his weapon) the mechanism's trigger. The trap's spikes (on both sides) immediately slammed with a wooden clack. Rash instinctively shudders, Mazurek didn't even blink (he knew exactly what was going to happen). Rash says (excitedly): "Wow, that's impressive!".

16. Mazurek smiles for a moment and then adds: "Indeed". In the background, MariogD goes left (possibly earlier - so that he would reach / disappear behind the left edge of the screen, just before the end of the fragment: Mazurka and Rash). The camera moves to the left. The camera shows a barricade (made of various materials: boards, nails, sticks, ropes). There are spikes on the left side of the barricade. On the right side, Mr. Mate (relaxes with his arms crossed). MariogD approaches. Missile, which he fired earlier, is stuck into the floor in front of the standing Mr. Mate).

17. Mr. Mate looks at MariogD indifferently (also a bit disappointed). MariogD says (a bit ashamed): "Sorry... are you okay?". Mr. Mate says calmly: "Are you talking about this?" (Mr. Mate looks at the missile). And he continues: "You think this thing could hit me?". MariogD is surprised by the words of Mr. Mate (looks surprised) and just said: "Well...". Mr. Mate is amused by MariogD's reaction and smiles (feisty). MariogD smiles artificially (forced). After a while, they both get serious. Mr. Mate says: "I know you think I'm some cold-blooded killer".

18. MariogD replies by scratching his head and looking at the floor (a bit embarrassed), replies: "I don't think that". MariogD looks at Mr. Mate and says (cheerfully): "I think you're awesome!". Simultaneously Delsin approaches and stays next to MariogD. Mr. Mate replies: "Thanks", next he continues: "Not too often I get to hear that coming towards me" and takes the missile from ground and tosses it to Delsin. Delsin catches the missile and squints eyes (makes threatening face), turns around and leaves. MariogD is surprised by Delsin's behaviour. Mr. Mate says nothing and he looks indifferently. Blackout.


Light effect:

Normal (midday).


Dialogues:

Keni: "...and it's his fault"
Keni: "Especially yours!"
Mejson: "You think any of us saw this coming?"
Mejson: "You surprised us"
Mejson: "You know perfectly well that in our lives now, losses are unpredictable"
Keni: "Don't remind me..."
Keni: "What do I care?"
Keni: <sighs>
Keni: "Now what do you need this thing for?"
Mejson: "Don't you know?"
Mejson: "The geeks want to make an antidote with its help"
Keni: "Why do you really need this thing?"
Keni: "Maybe to turn it into a weapon?"
Mejson: <bursts out laughing>
Mejson: <tries not to laugh>
Keni: "Fuck!"
Keni: "That wasn't funny!"
Bott*: "Are you okay?"
Bott*: "You're surprisingly rather quiet and absent"
Zip: "You're imagining things"
Bott*: "I don't think so"
Zip: "You must've smuggled some hallucinogens before you got webbed up"
Bott*: "Well, you've sure changed..."
Zip: "Are you done?"
Bott*: "What?"
Bott*: "Ahh... yes, here"
Zip: "Too bad we don't have lab staff"
Bott*: "Any doubts?"
Zip: "There's no telling right now what's in this mutated venom..."
Bott*: "Indeed"
Bott*: "What if there are side effects?"
Zip: "Best not to mention them"
Bott*: "Really? The old Zip would've not spared a paragraph"
Zip: "Look at Bill, we have no choice"
Bott*: "All right. Let's keep this quiet"
Bott*: "What's next?"
Zip: "Everyone will get their dose"
Bott*: "Little experiments have not hurt anyone yet"
MariogD: "Such a clever contraption..."
Delsin: "Yep. An incredible masterpiece"
MariogD: "Are you jealous?"
Delsin: "Am I jealous?' Absolutely not"
Delsin: "You're getting more excited than you should be"
MariogD: "Ah, you're afraid you're going to be replaced soon"
Delsin: "Yeah, right"
Delsin: "Hmm, looks like the trigger mechanism is very sensitive"
MariogD: "What?"
MariogD: "Whooops..."
Rash: "Are you out of your mind?!"
Rash: "You nearly killed us!"
MariogD: "Sorry! My bad!"
Rash: <sighs>
Rash: "Moron..."
Rash: "I sure didn't miss shit like this"
Mazurek: "It's nice to see that some things don't change"
Rash: "Is it ready?"
Mazurek: "One moment"
Mazurek: "Done!"
Mazurek: "Would you like to test?"
Rash: "Wow, that's impressive!"
Mazurek: "Indeed"
MariogD: "Sorry... are you okay?"
Mr. Mate: "Are you talking about this?"
Mr. Mate: "You think this thing could hit me?"
MariogD: "Well..."
Mr. Mate: "I know you think I'm some cold-blooded killer"
MariogD: "I don't think that"
MariogD: "I think you're awesome!"
Mr. Mate: "Thanks"
Mr. Mate: "Not too often I get to hear that coming towards me"

Tags:

7

Comments

Fine, peaceful scene after previous reunite. Especially like point with experiments of our scientists. It’s seems that having a bit crazy @SayMeBott in the team is sometimes a problem :p

Well, a very cool scene showing all kinds of things :P The guys kept updating what the characters say.

Also a great scene. Only two things on my mind.

6. - Perhaps Zip could allude to the idea that he knows that Bott* seems a little detached, and also knows why that is, unlike the quick conversation about it between Delsin and MariogD?

So when Bott* asks if Zip is okay, the latter becomes a little ticked, saying "You're imagining things." Bott* doubts that, only for Zip to get more aggressive and says "I think you found some more hallucinogens before you got caught by the spider." Bott* realizes the severity of the jab, and then notes that Zip "has changed."

I think this would align very well with Zip's slip into grief and opens up the idea of bringing the loss of Rowny down the line, and how much it has affected him.

13. - After the conversation between MariogD and Mr. Mate, I think it would do well to have a (possibly silent) scene in which Delsin watches them as he reloads the spike launcher (having received the launched spike from Mate tossing it to him), squinted eyes, which echos his distrust of Mr. Mate.

Now for Dialogues:
Keni: "...And it's his fault"

Keni: "Especially yours!"

Mejson: "Come on, who could have foreseen this?" -> "You think any of us saw this coming?"

Mejson: "You surprised us"

Mejson: "You know perfectly that loss is unpredictable in our live, last times..." -> "You know perfectly well that in our lives now, losses are unpredictable."

Keni: "Oh, don't tell me..." -> "Don't remind me..."

Keni: "What do I care?"

Keni: <sighs>

Keni: "What do you need 'this' for?" -> "Now what do you need this thing for?"

Mejson: "Don't you know?" -> "Didn't you know?"

Mejson: "Our geeks are already working on an antidote" -> "The geeks want to make an antidote with its help."

Keni: "I means: 'for real'" -> "Why do you really need this thing?"

Keni: "Do you want to use that as a weapon?" -> "Maybe to turn it into a weapon?"

Mejson: <bursts out laughing>

Mejson: <tries not to laugh>

Keni: "Fuck!"

Keni: "That's not funny!" -> "That wasn't funny!"

Bott*: "Are you okay?"

Bott*: "You are somehow absent and silent" -> "You're surprisingly rather quiet and absent."

Zip: "You're imagining things"

{Bott*: "I don't think so."

Zip: "You must've smuggled some hallucinogens before you got webbed up."

Bott*: "Well, you've sure changed..."}

Zip: "Are you done?"

Bott*: "What?"

Bott*: "Ahh... yes, here"

Zip: "Too bad we don't have a laboratory staff" -> "Too bad we don't have the rest of the lab staff."

Bott*: "Any doubts?" -> "Are you having doubts?"

Zip: "I'm curious what's in this mutated venom" -> "There's no telling right now what's in this mutated venom..."

Bott*: "Indeed"

Bott*: "What if there are side effects?"

Zip: "Better not to mention them" -> "Best not to mention them."

Bott*: "I'm suprised, old Zip would tell everyone" -> "Really? The old Zip would've not spared a paragraph."

Zip: "Look at Bill, we have no choice"

Bott*: "All right. Let's keep this quiet"

Bott*: "What's next?"

Zip: "Everyone will get their dose"

Bott*: "Little experiments have not hurt anyone yet"

MariogD: "So clever contraption" -> "Such a clever contraption..."

Delsin: "Yeah, incredible masterpiece" -> "Yep. An incredible masterpiece."

MariogD: "Are you jealous?"

Delsin: "A'I jealous? No" -> "'Am I jealous?' Absolutely not."

Delsin: "You're getting excited more than you should."

MariogD: "You are snippy that you aren't the only one with such a toy" -> "Ah, you're afraid you're going to be replaced soon."

Delsin: "Suuure" -> "Yeah, right."

Delsin: "Hmm, looks like the trigger mechanism is very sensitive"

MariogD: "What?"

MariogD: "Whooops..."

Rash: "Are you fucked up?!" -> "Are you out of your mind?!"

Rash: "You almost kill us!" -> "You nearly killed us!"

MariogD: "Sorry! It's my fault!" -> "Sorry! My bad!"

Rash: <sighs>

Rash: "Moron..."

Rash: "I didn't miss this shit" -> "I sure didn't miss shit like this."

Mazurek: "It's nice to see that some things don't change"

Rash: "It's ready?"-> "Is it ready?"

Mazurek: "Just a moment" -> "One moment."

Mazurek: "Done!"

Mazurek: "Would you like to test?"

Rash: "Wow, that's impressive!"

Mazurek: "Indeed"

MariogD: "Sorry... are you okay?"

Mr. Mate: "Are you talking about this?"

Mr. Mate: "You think this thing could hit me?"

MariogD: "Well..."

Mr. Mate: "I know you think I'm a killer" -> "I know you think I'm some cold-blooded killer."

MariogD: "I don't think that"

MariogD: "I think you rock!" -> "I think you're awesome!"

Mr. Mate: "Thanks"

Mr. Mate: "Glad you don't think of me as a psychopathic killer" -> "Not too often I get to hear that coming towards me." (Since he did just say something like this a couple lines ago, I think we can avoid immediate repetition)

Okay, already updating. Your ideas put in place and virtually all dialogues updated, thanks!

Guys! I had a long break, now I'm back in action o7 <salute>

OK, we're closing this scene. As always, thank you all for your help! :)

Sorry I’m late to the party, but I think you guys have made great improvements, I have nothing more to add.

Cool, no problem. Good luck on exams!