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Flash isn't dead... he's still alive in my heart... don't worry my brothers :)

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Reduce 3 - Scene 7 (Planning/Draft)

Posted by Mejson - October 17th, 2021


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Welcome everyone!


It's been 12 days since the last Poster. It's been quite a long time, but I had a lot of work to do (office) and the birthday party... and aftermath. It's been 35 years now. Planning Scene 7 took me 3 days, so it's was a little longer... So many dialogues in this scene, almost like a Netflix movie. xD


First, clarify a few things...

In Reduce 3 there will be improved time saving - timeline. Due to the fact that 6 minutes for 6 scenes may not be enough (damn long scenes XD). We need these 4 minutes, which are in: Main Menu, Subtitle, Credits and similar. Solution: stop the timeline and use ActionScript 3.0 to navigate objects in MovieClips (for Main Menu, Subtitle, Credits).


As you have noticed, Reduce 3 will be divided into: Part I, Part II and Part III. And each part will contain 6 long scenes, 18 scenes in total, thus 30 minutes of the movie.


I regret to inform you @Cyberdevil that we are unable to put the character - Cyber in Reduce 3... due to the storyline. However, many characters are killed in Reduce 4, and Cyber will appear and survive, so it won't be bad :) Hope you're not angry.


How should the nickname - Bott* be read? I think <Bot>. What do you think of this, @SayMeBott?


Thank you @ChordC for your help with dialogues!

What do you think about it, @Cyberdevil@Animetion24@ChordC@MariogD@SayMeBott?


Regards,

Mejson


Scene 7 - Illness

Inscription (on black background):

Episode 7
Day ??
(~16 hours later)
7:16 AM


Action:

1. The base elements, such as fences, beds and other elements, were built within a few hours. Under a dome made of plant pot leaves, there are primitive beds and primitive rescue equipment. Camera zoom in. Bill is lying on one of the beds, with Bott* crouched right behind him (front body). Bill has an exposed cage with a bandage on the wound site and some green healing goo.

2. Suddenly, Bill starts squirming and Bott* yells: "Stop moving!". Bill responds weakly: "Screw you!". Bott* raises his eyebrows and narrows his eyes a little, concerned: "The more you squirm, the worse it gets!". Bill replies indifferently: "I'm fine", and then adds: "I just need some rest... Then I'll be good".

3. Bott* smiles fake and replies sarcastically: "Yeah, sure..." or "Tsaa, sure...". Bill doesn't understand that this is sarcasm and starts to stand up. Bott* gently presses him against the bed and shouts: "Are you insane? Stay in bed!". To this Bill reacts impatiently: "Don't tell me what to do!". Bott* looks angry for a moment. Bill calms down, looks away, and doesn't speak anymore.

4. Camera a little zoom out. Mejson walks over from left and stops right next to him and jokingly says: "Still stubborn as usual, huh?". Bott* straightens up and looks at Mejson and smiles sadly. Bill glances at both of them and says quietly to himself: "Assholes...". Suddenly Mejson turns around and says seriously looking at Bott*: "Come here for a sec".

5. Mejson goes to the left and Bott* gets up and follows him. The camera follows them. The heroes walk left in silence for a while, and then Mejson stops (between the firecamp and the previous place). He turns to Bott* and asks seriously, looking into his eyes: "How’s Bill?". Bott* looks sadly at the ground and then at Mejson and says sadly: "He’s seen better days...".

6. Mejson makes a sad face and also look down. Suddenly, MariogD comes up from the right side and asks, stopping near Bott*: "You got some news?". Mejson doesn't react. Camera zoom in (Bott* and MariogD). Bott* turns his face towards MariogD and says: "Bad news... Bill...". MariogD is shocked (as usual): "What about him?" and adds: "He doesn't look so bad...".

7. Bott* replies seriously: "Are you sure about that?". MariogD reacts not sure: "Well...". Camera zoom out. Unexpectedly, standing Mr. Mate, who asks: "What are you discussing?". Everyone else instinctively shudders and looks at Mr. Mate. MariogD responds: "Where’d you come from?!". Mr. Mate shrugs. The moment of silence is interrupted by Mejson: "Bill's sickness is progressing".

8. Mr. Mate turns to Mejson and says sadly: "I see...". Mr. Mate looks down (at the ground) and scratches his head, straightens up and asks: "When are we heading out?". Everyone looks at him in surprise and then squint one's eyes. MariogD reacts angrily: "What are you talking about?!". Mr. Mate is surprised by MariogD's reaction and says in his defense: "Well, since Bill’s condition is...".

9. Mejson says firmly but calmly: "Nobody gets left behind". Mr. Mate responds: "I didn't mean..." and then adds: "I thought since... he’s in such a bad shape... so...". Mejson interrupts him: "Yeah, we get it". Surprisingly, MariogD turns his head and asks Bott*: "What should we do with him?".

10. Bott* starts to reply: "Well...", but Mr. Mate suddenly asks out of curiosity: "How many men have you lost?". MariogD and Bott* look at him in shock. Mejson freezes for a moment, then turns and walks off to the left (off the screen). The others watch Mejson until he was walk away. MariogD yells at Mr. Mate: "The fuck is wrong with you?!".

11. Mr. Mate is surprised: "What did I do?". MariogD lowers his head, closes his eyes and puts his hand to his face. Then he <sighs> and says calmly: "That’s a touchy subject...". Mr. Mate looks down at the ground. Bott* watched the whole situation silently. The camera moves to the left. Mejson sits on a pile of stones (building materials, with a resource yard nearby and a workbench) and scrape stick with angrily (carelessly) using his knife.

12. Suddenly he cuts himself with a knife. Mejson shudders and curses: "Goddammit!". He gets up and drops the knife, which stick in to the floor. He shakes his cut hand. Suddenly you hear a foreign voice: <laughter>, followed by: "Really?! What an amateur!". Mejson shudders, jumps off the stones then grabs the knife and waves it from side to side looking around and yells: "Who's there? Show yourself!".

13. Camera zoom in. Silence. Mejson calms down. He looks left - no one. He looks to the right - Steve is standing close to him, who says smiling: "Over here old friend...". Mejson shudders and screams: <gasp> "Steve...". Steve leans back, puts his hands on his hips and <laughs>. Mejson is clearly shocked / scared. Mejson says: "But... But... you are dead...".

14. Steve straightens up (returns to his normal position) and replies: "So what?". Then adds maliciously smiling: "Aren't you glad to see me?". Camera zoom in. Mejson leans forward, covers his face with his hands and says to himself, "No! It’s impossible... This isn’t happening!". Silence. Mejson straightens up and lowers his hands. Nobody is standing in front of Mejson.

15. Mejson calms down. Camera zoom out. Steve stands behind Mejson, leans down and says in his ear: "I’m always here... friend..." then smiles. Mejson shudders and turns away, then, already irritated with a firm voice, says: "What do you want from me?!". Steve straightens up and says seriously: "Calm down" then adds: "I'm here for you". Mejson reacts calmly scratching his head: "Really?". Steve nods.

16. Suddenly the camera moves a little to the right. MariogD goes on the left side, he comes closer to Mejson. He stands behind him, squint one's eyes and asks suspiciously: "Who are you talking to?". Mejson shudders and turns to MariogD and says: "What? Nobody...". Then he turns his head to the left for a moment. There is nobody there.

17. MariogD changes his expression to a concerned one and asks: "Are you okay?". Mejson blinks twice quickly and replies: "Yeah, I'm okay". MariogD raises his eyebrows and replies (doesn't believe): "Riiight...". And then, seriously, MariogD informs Mejson: "Come on! You need to hear this". They both go together. The camera moves to the right (to the previous location).

18. Delsin is sitting on the supply crate a little deeper to the background (he doesn't say anything and just watches). Mr. Mate is sitting on the stone (is used to sit close to the fire). He's back side to the campfire. Mr. Mate finishes the sentence: "...and that will actually help him?". Bott* rests against the side of the hospital dome.

19. Bott* wonders - he has a hand to his chin, then lowers his hand and look at Mr. Mate and replies: "It's a unique poison, but..." and then adds: "This'll have to do". Mr. Mate nods. From the right side MariogD and Mejson is coming. Mr. Mate and Bott* look at them. MariogD stops next to Bott* and turns to face everyone.

20. Mejson stops a bit back next to Mr. Mate. MariogD says: "Okay, everyone’s here", then he turns his head towards the Bott* and says: "Can you say that again, Bott*?". Bott* turns his head towards MariogD and replies: "Of course". Then he looks at Mejson and says: "Maybe we can save Bill". Mejson raises his eyebrows and says optimistically: "That's great news!". 

21. Bott* continues: "Yes, but... it won't be easy". Mejson grows serious. Bott* continues: "In addition to some ingredients here, I need some other things to produce an antidote". Mejson asks: "What things?". Bott* says: "Clean water, priority number one". Mejson puts his hand to his chin and says as if to himself: "Right...".

22. Suddenly, Delsin (everyone is looking at him) says: "There's water from condensation near our old camp" and continues as if putting his hand to his chin and look down: "The door probably has some leaks to it". Mejson looks at Bott* and asks: "What else?". Bott* says: "A healing herb like Dandelion, St. John's Wort, Aloe...".

23. Delsin interrupts him: "Aloe... Ah!" And adds, unfolding the map and looking at it: "Yes, that's right. I saw one in a pot while scouting". Delsin hides the map. Mejson says: "Excellent!". Bott* says looking down at the ground: "Yes, but..." then looks at Mejson sadly and continues: "Bill doesn't have long".

24. Then MariogD says: "We shoud split up to get what we need fast". Suddenly Mr. Mate says: "I can go solo". Mejson looks at him and flatly denies: "No way, this place is too dangerous. No one goes alone". MariogD scratches his head, squint one's eyes and says without looking at anyone: "With Bott* looking after Bill, who's going to protect the base?".

25. Everyone looks at MariogD and then down to the ground or ahead, wondering. Mejson squint one's eyes. Camera zoom in (on Mejson's face). The background changes to black, and Mejson's head (front) has glow effect (or something like that - I will experiment on the effects, for the sake of simplicity I will call (this moment) - mind moment). Mejson thinks (sound effect of "Well". For simplicity - instead of "says" it "thinks"): "What to do?". Suddenly, Steve (front face) appears on the left behind Mejson's head (movement and transparency), saying: "You called?".

26. Then he smiles and then disappears (the transparency effect). Mejson raises his eyebrows and looks straight ahead (his pupils narrow in surprise). Mejson opens his mouth because he is about to say something, but Steve appears from the right side (face side) and cuts him off: "Shhh, don't say a thing" and adds: "I hear your thoughts". Mejson blinks as his eyes wander to Steve.

27. Mejson squint one's eyes a little, he lowers one eyebrow (the other is still up) and thinks: "Okaaay...". Mejson's expression returns to normal. Mejson thinks: "What are we supposed to do?". Steve replies: "Isn't it obvious?". And then disappears. Mejson raises his eyebrows and thinks: "Hm?". Steve appears on the left side (face side), squint one's eyes a little, and says: "That boy, Candy...".

28. Mejson lowers his eyebrows and thinks: "What about him?". Steve has a serious look on his face and says: "He'll stay and watch over the base". Mejson raises his eyebrows in surprise: "Are you serious?! He can't even fight!". Steve squint one's eyes a little and says: "Then why don't you teach him?".

29. Mejson raises his eyebrows even more, and his eyes move left and then right at the bottom edge of his eye sockets, and at the same time he thinks: "He... He is so helpless and young". Steve disappears. Mejson looks to the left. Steve appears on the right (face side), raises an eyebrow, and says: "None of that will change until you let him grow up".

30. Mejson looks at him, raises his eyebrows, squint one's eyes, then looks down and thinks: "Yes, I know... I understand". Suddenly is hearing dimly MariogD: "Mejson! Can you hear me?!". Mejson's expression returns to normal, he stares straight ahead. Steve disappears. Camera zoom out. The background is changes to normal.

31. Everyone is looking at Mejson, and in front of him is standing an irritated MariogD. Mejson says: "What?". And MariogD replies: "I just asked you if you had any ideas". Mejson looks at him seriously and says: "Yes... Candy and his pet will keep an eye on the base". MariogD tilt his back in shock: "Whaaat?! You must be joking!". Others are also shocked.

32. Bott* suddenly says: "Not a problem. Shevy can protect us!" then smiles. Nobody reacts to the words of Bott*. Mejson squint one's eyes and replies: "Well... why not?". MariogD straightens up, waves his arms and says irritated: "Why not?!... He can't even fight!". Mejson looks firmly and says: "That's why I will teach him!".

33. Then puts his hands on his hips and says: "It's been decided!". MariogD looks angry at Mejson, then turns to the right and says as he leaves: "Do whatever you want...". And then he adds to himself: "Total stupidity...". Mejson lowers his hands and says aloud: "We're leaving in fifteen minutes!". Then turns and goes to the left. Delsin asks him: "Where are you going?". Mejson look at Delsin when walks and replies: "I'm going to talk with Candy". Blackout.


Light effect:

Yellow (morning).


Dialogues:

Bott*: "Stop moving!"
Bill: "Screw you!"
Bott*: "The more you squirm, the worse it gets!"
Bill: "I'm fine"
Bill: "I just need some rest... Then I'll be good"
Bott*: "Yeah, sure..." or "Tsaa, sure..."
Bott*: "Are you insane? Stay in bed!"
Bill: "Don't tell me what to do!"
Mejson: "Still stubborn as usual, huh?"
Bill: "Assholes..."
Mejson: "Come here for a sec"
Mejson: "How’s Bill?"
Bott*: "He’s seen better days..."
MariogD: "You got some news?"
Bott*: "Bad news... Bill..."
MariogD: "What about him?"
MariogD: "He doesn't look so bad..."
Bott*: "Are you sure about that?"
MariogD: "Well..."
Mr. Mate: "What are you discussing?"
MariogD: "Where’d you come from?!"
Mejson: "Bill's sickness is progressing"
Mr. Mate: "I see..."
Mr. Mate: "When are we heading out?"
MariogD: "What are you talking about?!"
Mr. Mate: "Well, since Bill’s condition is..."
Mejson: "Nobody gets left behind"
Mr. Mate: "I didn't mean..."
Mr. Mate: "I thought since... he’s in such a bad shape... so..."
Mejson: "Yeah, we get it"
MariogD: "What should we do with him?"
Bott*: "Well..."
Mr. Mate: "How many men have you lost?"
MariogD: "The fuck is wrong with you?!"
Mr. Mate: "What did I do?"
MariogD: <sighs>
MariogD: "That’s a touchy subject..."
Mejson: "Goddammit!"
Steve: <laughter>
Steve: "Really?! What an amateur!"
Mejson: "Who's there? Show yourself!"
Steve: "Over here old friend..."
Mejson: <gasp>
Mejson: "Steve..."
Steve: <laughs>
Mejson: "But... But... you are dead..."
Steve: "So what?"
Steve: "Aren't you glad to see me?"
Mejson: "No! It’s impossible... This isn’t happening!"
Steve: "I’m always here... friend..."
Mejson: "What do you want from me?!"
Steve: "Calm down"
Steve: "I'm here for you"
Mejson: "Really?"
MariogD: "Who are you talking to?"
Mejson: "What? Nobody..."
MariogD: "Are you okay?"
Mejson: "Yeah, I'm okay"
MariogD: "Riiight..."
MariogD: "Come on! You need to hear this"
Mr. Mate: "...and that will actually help him?"
Bott*: "It's a unique poison, but..."
Bott*: "This'll have to do"
MariogD: "Okay, everyone’s here"
MariogD: "Can you say that again, Bott*?"
Bott*: "Of course"
Bott*: "Maybe we can save Bill"
Mejson: "That's great news!"
Bott*: "Yes, but... it won't be easy"
Bott*: "In addition to some ingredients here, I need some other things to produce an antidote"
Mejson: "What things?"
Bott*: "Clean water, priority number one"
Mejson: "Right..."
Delsin: "There's water from condensation near our old camp"
Delsin: "The door probably has some leaks to it"
Mejson: "What else?"
Bott*: "A healing herb like Dandelion, St. John's Wort, Aloe..."
Delsin: "Aloe... Ah!"
Delsin: "Yes, that's right. I saw one in a pot while scouting"
Mejson: "Excellent!"
Bott*: "Yes, but..."
Bott*: "Bill doesn't have long"
MariogD: "We shoud split up to get what we need fast"
Mr. Mate: "I can go solo"
Mejson: "No way, this place is too dangerous. No one goes alone"
MariogD: "With Bott* looking after Bill, who's going to protect the base?"
Mejson: "What to do?"
Steve: "You called?"
Steve: "Shhh, don't say a thing"
Steve: "I hear your thoughts"
Mejson: "Okaaay..."
Mejson: "What are we supposed to do?"
Steve: "Isn't it obvious?"
Mejson: "Hm?"
Steve: "That boy, Candy..."
Mejson: "What about him?"
Steve: "He'll stay and watch over the base"
Mejson: "Are you serious?! He can't even fight!"
Steve: "Then why don't you teach him?"
Mejson: "He... He is so helpless and young"
Steve: "None of that will change until you let him grow up"
Mejson: "Yes, I know... I understand"
MariogD: "Mejson! Can you hear me?!"
Mejson: "What?"
MariogD: "I just asked you if you had any ideas"
Mejson: "Yes... Candy and his pet will keep an eye on the base"
MariogD: "Whaaat?! You must be joking!"
Bott*: "Not a problem. Shevy can protect us!"
Mejson: "Well... why not?"
MariogD: "Why not?!... He can't even fight!"
Mejson: "That's why I will teach him!"
Mejson: "It's been decided!"
MariogD: "Do whatever you want..."
MariogD: "Total stupidity..."
Mejson: "We're leaving in fifteen minutes!"
Delsin: "Where are you going?"
Mejson: "I'm going to talk with Candy"

Tags:

7

Comments

OMG, this scene will be soooo long. Like it, many dialogues.
To be sure the next to scene requires more actions, more fight.

Yes, I hope 10 minutes is enough for every part of XD

Thanks!

@Mejson Yes, Bott* in written, and <Bot> in speech.

I agree with @MariogD - this scene will be a challenge, but if all goes well, it will be a masterpiece.

I have some ideas for Bott*'s dialogues - e.g.:
- "Yeah, sure..." >> "Tsaa.., sure..."
- "Yes, but... it won't be easy" >> "Yes..., but..., it won't be easy" or "but..., yes..., it won't be easy"
- "Bill has little time..." >> "Bill doesn't have much time"

Not sure about:
-"This’ll do" >> "I'll do it/this"
- "antidote" >> "cure"

I like @Animetion24 approach to dialogues from Scene 6 (Planning/Draft).

@Mejson @Animetion24 what do you think about it?

Ah your own birthday! :D Happy Birthday!!! Just a few years ahead of me...

Now that the dialog qualifies maybe we can try to get this on Netflix someday hmm. :P

No worries at all regarding Cyber. You're really planning far ahead here. Looking forward to seeing him whenever it's relevant he's brought forth!

Thus scene was great. Goosebumps when Steve first appears. And intriguing to see how this'll go, if Steve's really helping or no...

Just a couple suggestions on the dialog.

Bill’s illness is getting worse > Bill’s condition is getting worse
I decided! > I've decided! or It's decided!

This is really getting pretty exciting, anticipation growing...

Well, a bit late, but thank you so much! :)

Hehehe XD I don't know if it's possible :P

Well, it will not appear too soon... in Reduce 3 I had no idea how to add him, and in Reduce 4 there will certainly be a lot of opportunities and a need for new people.

Well... I hope everyone will understand that this is not really Steve XD... It's just a Mejson mind image caused by a severe psychological trauma or split personality :P Mejson's brain tries to deal with the situation and creates such an entity in his head :p It remains to be seen whether it will help or not... :P

Thanks!

Hope you won't be disappointed, but... it will take a lot of work (new bg, bugs, heroes) and take longer than last time.

@SayMeBott
- "This'll do" is fine, @ChordC idea (but i had to google it -> https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/476839/is-thisll-considered-proper-english)
- antidote and cure are both fine for me, but it seems that antidote is slightly better. Bill illness is caused by spider's poison. @Mejson to decide
- "Bill has little time..." -> according to google they are totally the same (https://ell.stackexchange.com/questions/138154/we-have-little-time-vs-we-havent-got-much-time) Personally I will go with option 'Bill has little time' because it is shorter. @Mejson to decide.
- "Yeah, sure..." >> "Tsaa.., sure..." -> I cannot find word Tsaa. Do you want it because it is something personal to You? Frankly speaking I cannot remember you using it. @Mejson we use 'yeah' all the time, maybe "yep" or this "tsaa" will be more interesting?

We'll see what @Animetion24 adds.

Unfortunately I didn't remember the date, but now that you mention it at least I can retrospectively send some wishes! ;)

Maybe not now but in the future who knows! :D

Sure, and there'll be plenty to look forward too in the meantime, whenever it suits the story.

Right, I'm just wondering if his appearance is good or bad for Mejson, if he's a projection that helps, or somehow maybe a self-destructive element in Mejson's personality... for example if he maybe projects the things Mejson fears, that more teammates will die, and that his advice actually lead to such things happening... or it's all really good, subconscious decision-making. :P

The longer the wait for something good though... ;)

Cool, thanks!

Hehehe, I wish I could live it, but we're not that popular with this saga :)

Yes!

You know... usually a split personality consists of two opposite consciousnesses: acute and mild. "Steve" is of course the sharp and firm one. Well... making bold decisions is definitely related to: great success or great failure. Certainly, "Steve" will not project the things that Mejson is afraid of because he are part of Mejson, so he wants to survive. Is it good to be firm and risk in such a survival? It probably depends on the situation. Surely resisting and taking a hits in ass ensures respect XD But is it worth it? Who knows XD

Yes, that's for sure! But I wonder if it will be well received? xD

Regarding the 'Tsaa' btw, maybe this'd work: https://www.dictionary.com/browse/tsk ?

Seems a little similar? Same expression?

It begins to seem to me that it shouldn't be so consuming you all. :P

@MariogD Ok, I don't question what you write because your knowledge is greater :3

@Mejson @Cyberdevil @MariogD - MariogD described it well - I mean, not every person has same habits and use same phrases - likewise characters should be different.
Not everyone say "no", some say "nope" and others "nah". I'm thinking about using more slang, slack, colloquial speech and street vocabulary - not just 'yes' and 'no' (more synonyms).

"Tsaa" is just an indefinite phrase expressing sarcasm (its even more sound than phrase) - it may take any situational form, not necessarily "Yeah" - it may be even "Forget...", "Mhm..."

I don't have the strength to control things like this :/ If we want to have something like this, we'd have to work it out for each character before planning the first scene. We don't have the people to do this, nor the time to come up with something like this complex. I won't do it because I'm tired enough with the planning of the scenes. :/ :/ :/

Gotta keep going till it IS that popular!!! ;)

Hehe, well it'll be exciting to see what his decisions lead to. :) Can Candy really become a warrior hmm... seems I'm overthinking things with the self-actualizing fear/projection bit though! XD

I really hope so! :D This chapters definitely feels more intense than the previous, hopefully people don't just want action and speed though, I think if some of these scenes are executed well anyone will be able to immerse themselves. the atmosphere feels powerful. Hope you manage to bring it to life the best possible way. ;)

Regarding the Tsk/Tsaa I guess you'll come to a conclusion hmm. :) Character-specific remarks are nice if they contribute something IMO. I guess it's a matter of balancing understanding/benefit. Maybe strange to add now, but maybe not detrimental either...

I'm fine either way.

I admire your unjustified optimism! :P

Candy warrior, I think anyone can be. It is enough for him to have a motivation / emotional trigger and a goal for which he can fight. Don't forget that Candy grows up / develops physically and emotionally. :)

No exaggeration, the previous one was emotional too. I liked it, so don't be picky! XD Well done? You shouldn't write like that XD I always try to do a great XD scene. Have I ever failed? xD

I don't know what to think about it, adding something like this once won't create a character style. And correcting everything... is beyond my strength... I doubt that anyone will have the time and strength to guard it. Nice idea, but not feasible :/

Unjustified optimism haha. XD In these dark times you have to dream! I do appreciate your sense of realism too though!

I do believe in him. :) Intriguing to follow that growth.

And of course I believe you'll give it all your all too! Sometimes the reality just doesn't seem to match the dream, or vice versa, like trying to take a photo of the moon or mist, it's hard to capture the moment in that particular medium. Or maybe more relevant: sometimes the book's just so much better than the movie - imagination is a powerful medium too, but here's hoping the scene turns out just as amazing as I imagine it! :) Feels like they steadily keep getting better and better too.

Understood. :) Have to weigh value and time too of course, hope Bott* doesn't mind.

Thanks! And I appreciate your optimism! It's nice that you are with us for such a long time, and I'm not popular and there are better animators than me. :)

Nice! :D

Sure! I am a perfectionist! Have I ever released something that was poorly done? :P I don't remember. :) What's interesting that weak animators are more popular XD Let them be good for them! :) I have grown old XD I can enjoy someone else's happiness! :) It will be divine! A brilliant scenario in my opinion! Reduce 2 not lived up to the heels of this scenario! XD

It's cool, if Bott* wants very much, we can change it :)

@Mejson
For clarity. I don't want to make a revolution - it's just that my character dialogues interest me a bit more than the others.

I wanted to avoid discrepancy between subtitles and recorded sound (if instead 'No' I would say 'Naaaaa') - in my opinion this is a detail that can be modified during editing (of course, I would record 'No' and 'Naaaaa' - but if 'Naaaaa' you would like more, then you just change the subtitles).

As I say, it's just a cosmetic procedure - no big deal. Even if you say that we do it as it is, I will not dispute it - but I would like to try and maybe get a better effect (judging recorded audio).

o/

If you want, of course, of course :) Different versions - ok. That's more work for you: p If you want to add to yourself, that's cool :)

Extra: "Yeah, sure..." >> "Tsaa, sure..."

1. When you say "exposed cage" do you mean the wound, and it's open? I'm a bit confused as the bandage is likely there to keep it closed. Or do you mean they made a cage to put Bill in in the event the infection turns him into something like Steve?

2, 3. Good to go.

4. Maybe Bott* can end the conversation with Bill by saying "You would know!", implying he thinks Bill's quite an asshole too. Bill groans in response and takes a rest, which then leads to Mejson calling Bott* aside. Sound good?

5-9. Good to go.

10. I think we ought to change Mr. Mate's question from a "how many?" to a "who were they?". One of the best ways to retain (or mask) genuine care of someone who debuted after tragedy in the story is to have them be curious of the names of the fallen, as even the dead have names and aren't just numbers to quantify. This can still shellshock Mejson as it has him remember the stories of their casualties. It'll be a part of my dialogue suggestions down low.

11-13. Good to go.

14. Maybe Mejson should try to scrub his remaining eye first and look back up (realizing he still sees Steve), before he then puts his face fully behind his hands? It will bring the idea that Mejson still is trying to fight his insanity rather than immediately accepting what he's seeing.

15-17. Good to go.

18. By watching, is Delsin listening to the rest of the survivors attentively? I reckon he could be listening in passing while on lookout, such as him looking with only his eyes behind him towards Mejson and MariogD, before returning his attention to the outskirts of their outpost.

19-24. Good to go.

25. If you are still curious about how to illustrate Mejson's internal thinking moment, I was thinking of having multiple Mejsons come out of his head suggesting courses of action to the main man himself, things like "Bott* alone", "With Delsin", "With Mr. Mate". But since they all speak over each other, it only frustrates the first Mejson into saying "What to do?" which is when they all go silent and Steve takes over. This can add to Mejson feeling more and more dissociated with the real world.

26-33. Good to go.

1. Cage chest is exposed - armor / clothing removed from body :P

4. I believe Bott* is above that and he is impossible to provoke by Bill. This is not the emitter of his freak :P

10. I don't know... Mr. Mate is naturally fond of collecting information (habit from previous job). I don't know if he is interested in who they were, or rather the quantity. @ChordC, are you in favor of "quantity" too?

14. This is an exaggeration, Mejson has nothing to say anymore - has a split personality XD

18. He was on guard, and then (as the camera showed Mejson and Steve) MariogD called him and witnessed Bott* telling stories. Delsin probably silently analyzed what Bott* had said.

25. I meant the background color and the character glow in mind moment. I'll make something up.

Thanks for the ideas! :) :) :)

Dialogues:

Bott*: "Stop moving!"

Bill: "Screw you!"

Bott*: "You’ll make things worse if you keep doing this" -> "The more you squirm, the worse it gets!"

Bill: "I'm fine"

Bill: "I’ll just sleep it off... everything’ll be alright" -> "I just need some rest... Then I'll be good."

Bott*: "Yeah, sure..." -> "Of course you will."

Bott*: "Are you mad?! Stay down there!" -> "Are you insane? Stay in bed!"

Bill: "You can’t tell me what to do!" -> "Don't tell me what to do!"

Mejson: "Still stubborn as usual, huh?"

Bill: "Assholes..."

{Bott*: "You would know!"}

Mejson: "Come here for a moment" -> "Come here for a sec."

Mejson: "How’s Bill?"

Bott*: "He’s seen better days..."

MariogD: "What's going on?" -> "You got some news?"

Bott*: "Bad news... Bill..."

MariogD: "What about him?"

MariogD: "He seems alright to me" -> "He doesn't look so bad..."

Bott*: "Are you sure about that?"

MariogD: "Well..."

Mr. Mate: "You discussing something?" -> "What are you discussing?

MariogD: "Where’d you come from?!"

Mejson: "Bill’s illness is getting worse" -> "Bill's sickness is progressing."

Mr. Mate: "I see..."

Mr. Mate: "When are we gonna move out?" -> "When are we heading out?"

MariogD: "What are you talking about?!"

Mr. Mate: "Well, since Bill’s condition is..." -> "It would be unwise to stay here for too long."

Mejson: "We leave no men behind" -> "Nobody gets left behind."

Mr. Mate: "I didn't mean..."

Mr. Mate: "I thought since... he’s in such a bad shape... so..."

Mejson: "Relax, we understand" -> "Yeah, we get it."

MariogD: "What should we do with him?" -> "Is there anything we can do for him?"

Bott*: "Well..."

Mr. Mate: "How many men have you lost?" -> "Who did you lose before?"

MariogD: "The fuck is wrong with you?!"

Mr. Mate: "What did I do?"

MariogD: <sighs>

MariogD: "That’s a touchy subject..." -> "That's a very sore subject."

Mejson: "Goddammit!"

Steve: <laughter>

Steve: "Really?! What an amateur!"

Mejson: "Who are you?! Show yourself!" -> "Who's there? Show yourself!"

Steve: "Over here old friend..." -> "I'm over here, buddy."

Mejson: <gasp>

Mejson: "Steve..."

Steve: <laughs>

Mejson: "But... But... you are dead..."

Steve: "So what?"

Steve: "Aren't you glad to see me?"

Mejson: "No! It’s impossible... This isn’t happening!"

Steve: "I’m always here... friend..."

Mejson: "What do you want from me?!"

Steve: "Calm down"

Steve: "I'm here for you"

Mejson: "Really?"

MariogD: "Who are you talking to?"

Mejson: "What? No one" -> "... Nobody."

MariogD: "Are you okay?"

Mejson: "Yes, I'm fine" -> "Yeah, I'm okay."

MariogD: "Okeeey" -> "Riiiight...."

MariogD: "Come on! I wanna talk to you about something" -> "Come here, I need to run something by you."

Mr. Mate: "...and that will actually help him?"

Bott*: "Well... I’ve never dealt with a poison like this" -> "It's a unique poison, but..."

Bott*: "This’ll do" -> "This'll have to do."

MariogD: "Okay, everyone’s here"

MariogD: "Can you repeat, Bott*?" -> "Can you say that again, Bott*?"

Bott*: "Of course"

Bott*: "Maybe we can save Bill"

Mejson: "That's great news!"

Bott*: "Yes, but... it won't be easy"

Bott*: "Besides what I can find in the area, I need a few things to do the
antidote" -> "In addition to some ingredients here, I need some other things to produce an antidote."

Mejson: "What do you need?" -> "What things?"

Bott*: "Most of all clean water" -> "Clean water, priority number one."

Mejson: "I understand..." -> "Right..."

Delsin: "The water has condensed close to our previous camp" -> "There's water from condensation near our old camp."

Delsin: "I guess it has to do with the leakiness of the door..." -> "The door probably has some leaks to it."

Mejson: "What else?"

Bott*: "A healing herb like Dandelion, St. John's Wort, Aloe..."

Delsin: "Aloe... Yes!" -> "Aloe... Ah!"

Delsin: "Yes, that's right. I saw one in a pot while scouting"

Mejson: "Excellent!"

Bott*: "Yes, but..."

Bott*: "Bill has little time..." -> "Bill doesn't have long."

MariogD: "So two expeditions at the same time..." -> "We can split up to get what we need faster."

Mr. Mate: "I can go alone" -> "I can go solo."

Mejson: "No! It's too dangerous there, no one will go alone" -> "No way, this place is too dangerous. No one goes alone."

MariogD: "But if Bott* looks after Bill, who will be guarding the base?" -> "With Bott* looking after Bill, who's going to protect the base?"

Mejson: "What to do?"

Steve: "You called?"

Steve: "Shhh, don't say anything" -> "No no, don't say a thing."

Steve: "I hear your thoughts"

Mejson: "Okaaay..."

Mejson: "What are we supposed to do?"

Steve: "Isn't that obvious?" -> "Isn't it obvious?"

Mejson: "Hm?"

Steve: "That boy, Candy..."

Mejson: "What about him?"

Steve: "He'll stay and watch over the base"

Mejson: "Are you serious?! He can't even fight!"

Steve: "Then why don't you teach him?"

Mejson: "He... He is so helpless and young"

Steve: "I know you want to protect him, but you have to let him grow up" -> "None of that will change until you let him learn and grow up."

Mejson: "Yes, I know... I understand"

...

MariogD: "Mejson! Can you hear me?!"

Mejson: "What?"

MariogD: "I asked if you had any idea" -> "I just asked you if you had any ideas."

Mejson: "Yes... Candy and his pet will keep an eye on the base"

MariogD: "Whaaat?! You're not serious?!" -> "The Hell? You must be joking!"

Bott*: "No problem. My Shevy will protect us" -> "Not a problem. Shevy can protect us!"

Mejson: "Well... why not?"

MariogD: "Why not?!... He can't even fight!"

Mejson: "That's why I will teach him!"

Mejson: "I decided!" -> "It's been decided!"

MariogD: "Do whatever you want..."

MariogD: "Total stupidity..." -> He's losing it..."

Mejson: "We're leaving in fifteen minutes!"

Delsin: "Where are you going?"

Mejson: "I'm going to talk with Candy"

Yep, these scenes are getting much longer. Now need three comments to put down my thoughts and observations. :U

Brilliant! Thank you! Great job! Little corrections:

Bott *: "Yeah, sure..." -> "Of course you will" (not sarcastic enough).

Mr. Mate: "Well, since Bill's condition is..." -> "It would be unwise to stay here for too long" (deviates from the broadcast).

MariogD: "What should we do with him?" -> "Is there anything we can do for him?" (it's a bit inappropriate on purpose because MariogD doesn't really like Bill).

Mr. Mate: "How many men have you lost?" -> "Who did you lose before?" (as I wrote before).

MariogD: "That’s a touchy subject ..." -> "That's a very sore subject ..." (MariogD chose the first option).

Steve: "Over here old friend ..." -> "I'm over here, buddy" (Steve would never say that).

Mejson: "What? No one" -> "What? Nobody..." (it looks better).

MariogD: "Come on! I wanna talk to you about something" -> "Come here, I need to run something by you." (better: "Come on! You need to hear this" - because MariogD doesn't use such sophisticated words).

MariogD: "So two expeditions at the same time..." -> "We can split up to get what we need faster" (better: "We shoud split up to get what we need fast").

Steve: "Shhh, don't say anything" -> "No no, don't say a thing" (better: "Shhh, don't say a thing").

Steve: "I know you want to protect him, but you have to let him grow up" -> "None of that will change until you let him learn and grow up" (better: "None of that will change until you let him grow up").

MariogD: "Whaaat?! You're not serious?!" -> "The Hell? You must be joking!" ("Whaaat?! You must be joking!").

MariogD: "Total stupidity..." -> He's losing it..."(does not match the logic of the plot).

@Animetion24, it's looks like I don't understand this change in "4". Can you explay for why reason is this sentence and when, with emotion?

Edit: Ok, got it updated / changed.

Well there may be a lot of good competition out there but I wonder if most of them are as dedicated as you are. ;) This community involvement's really unique too. I just stumbled in somehow initially but happy to be here since!

I don't think so no. XD Hmm even badly drawn stuff can be alright if the idea's good IMO, there's some really random stuff out there that I enjoy too, like for example this had me laughing way too much: https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/812587

Anyway it's inspiring with thoroughness, but it's nice the bar isn't too high either; that you can appreciate things for what they are. Anyone can get into animating again now, when for a while it seemed like it was something for professionals only - it's like it used to be when NG was new again! I love how much life there is in the community here now, and hopefully some of that spills back into this series soon...

Yesss looking forward to that! :D

:)

This is honey for my heart! : D Well I'm crazy Flash Mejson!!! XD And remember: FLASH WILL NEVER DIE WHILE WE'RE ALIVE!

Well... hmmmmm I understand you, but this is just too low for me :P

That's true! I wonder how many people do Flash... You know the loss of popularity... it's my fault because peoples liked CS a lot. I abandoned this series because I wanted to be ambitious... and here Reduce Saga it's too ambitious idea XD XD XD

Aaand age is a good thing hopefully. XD Experience! Skill! Feels like you do start accepting things easier too...

Aaaaaaa you know you do?! I noticed that I'm kinder with age and that I treat kids with a pinch of salt :P

Truly thorough commentary @Animetion24 !

Hey @Mejson , looking at the updated news dialogue, it looks like we still have different ideas about that new line for Bott*. "You would know" is in response to Bill calling him and Mejson "Assholes". Bott* essentially says that it takes one to know one by saying in response, "you would know", indicating that he thinks Bill is kind of a prick as well.

Ohhh? It's with @MariogD we didn't understand you XD. So I think Mejson and Bott* either ignored it or didn't hear it.

@Cyberdevil, @Animetion24, @ChordC, @MariogD, @SayMeBott, I think we can close the scene :) Yes?

Along with @ChordC, we came up with a cool solution to avoid adding information about the previous part in the Main Menu or Information Screen with text. We will add a narrator (Plasmarift VA) who will tell you what happened. This solution can be seen in various series / movies.

@Animetion24, I think it's a challenge for you to write a narrative for this :) Of course if you want :)

Let it begin as the narrator says: "Previously in Reduce...". Of course, I am betting on your sense of length and detail based on the paper from Reduce 2 - Summary (MAP):
https://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/a2c40b2a2724ea3a5d7ac38dbaf81bb3

Thank you in advance!

PS. I wrote to Plasmarift yesterday :) He wrote back that he is cool and he is looking forward to recording - he is still with us! He will be recording voice for: Mejson, Keni, Havoc, Rash, Bill, narrator.

@Mejson
why do you propose to close the scene when we still discuss it?

I understood that 'you would know' will be instead of point 3 'Bott* looks angry for a moment'. I am not convinced to this angry faces. We use them a lot,

@Animetion24 proposition is also fine. This addition 'you would know'after Bill's 'assholes' will show that even Bott has finite patience, when Bill is such a dick.

We can also stay with current option that 'I think Mejson and Bott* either ignored it or didn't hear it.'

Personally like @Animetion24 option not to ignore Bill's 'assholes'

Everybody ignores the cursing Bill under his breath because everybody knows it doesn't make sense and otherwise he's in bad shape. @MariogD, do you want to yell at him like this?

@MariogD, yeah, you wrong! You have to be careful! You missed!

I figured it wasn't a good idea to yell at him. All of them are intelligent enough not to get caught up in such harassment.

Exactly!

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