Mejson 2021-11-28 10:15:20

@Colizza, you like our Posters for a long time, well nobody will hurt you if you write something XD What do you think about Reduce Saga? :)

MariogD 2021-11-28 10:35:10

In my opiniom it should be with narrative:
At the beginning of the major version like reduce 3 or reduce 4 - summary of whole story from beginning
At the beginning of minor part like reduce 3 part 2 - reminder only about previous part
So I totally agree with my brother @Mejson

SayMeBott 2021-11-28 11:06:09

Great adventure of two characters!
On narrative, I agree with @MariogD

MariogD 2021-11-28 11:38:56

Oh my God it is only half of the planning :D

Colizza 2021-11-29 08:48:45

@Mejson Okay, now I answer xD I like the concept, very inspired by Ant Bully. The stickman style is cool too.

AzureDragoonGX 2021-11-30 09:05:54

Hey guys, yeah the voice lines are taking a bit. Also will try to draft out this scene later today.

AzureDragoonGX 2021-11-30 17:18:36

1.-2. - "he holds out her hand." ^^' A he, please. :) Otherwise, some dialogue suggestions.

3. - Some dialogue suggestions. Also, consider adding a small comedic line about how Delsin thinks that Mejson and MariogD are birds of a feather in how they seem to like having conversations just to themselves.

4.-6. - Good to go.

7.-10. - Good to go, but some dialogue changes.

11.-12. - Perhaps Delsin could still be taking a look at the lighter as they walk towards their destination, and then he puts it away to comment on Mr. Mate? I think that would make his remarks seem a little less out of nowhere.

13.-14. - Some dialogue suggestions.

15.-21. - Good to go.

22. - Not so much a suggestion for this scene, but if we are looking for more tension when the survivors have to fight the spiders closer to their homes, I think having scattered, tight silk wires that if the heroes touch creates a vibration (shown by zoom in) that the arachnids are alerted to.
This being said, perhaps Delsin can spot one of these first and he and MariogD carefully trek a "minefield" before finally finding the spider that made them.

23-28. - Good to go.

AzureDragoonGX 2021-11-30 17:18:54

Delsin: "Take my hand"

MariogD: "Thanks"

Delsin: "Do you think that was a bit harsh for him?" -> "Don't you think you were a bit harsh on Mejson?"

MariogD: "I have no idea" -> "I don't really know..."

MariogD: <sighs>

MariogD: "I understand we're out of options... but Candy?" -> "I understand we're short-staffed... But why Candy?!"

Delsin: "I'm sure Mejson knows what he's doing" -> "Surely Mejson's got his reasons."

Delsin: "We need to let Candy grow up on his own" -> "He needs to grow up eventually, too."

MariogD: "But now?!" -> "But why now?"

MariogD: "It's not a good time for that right now..." -> "This really isn't a good time for that..."

Delsin: "Will there be another time?" -> "Think there'll be a better time?"

MariogD: "What do we have here?"

MariogD: "Wait!"

MariogD: "I have a better idea"

Delsin: "What?"

MariogD: "Here, take this."

Delsin: "Where did you get this?"

MariogD: "I got it from Mate" -> "Compliments of Mr. Mate."

MariogD: "Set it on fire" -> "Set it alight."

MariogD: "Watch and admire!" -> "Watch and weep!"

MariogD: "Pretty cool, huh?"

Delsin: "Yea, not bad."

Delsin: "I hope you won't burn us alive" -> "Just don't burn us alive."

MariogD: "I'm not a child!"

MariogD: "Cactus spines..."

Delsin: "What?"

MariogD: "It reminds me of Jimmy..." -> "They remind me of Jimmy."

Delsin: "Who's that?"

MariogD: <sighs>

MariogD: "He was a great man"

MariogD: "Too great..."

MariogD: "Nevermind, we need to carry on..."

Delsin: "I don't trust this 'Mate' guy..." -> "I'm not sold on Mr. Mate."

Delsin: "He's an assassin after all" -> "Kinda hard to trust a known assassin."

MariogD: "Look around you, a well-trained killer is exactly what we need right now. Plus, he looks pretty cool!" -> "Around these parts, better to have a well-trained killer than not. Besides, he looks awesome!"

MariogD: "What exactly is your problem?" -> "What's your beef with him?"

Delsin: "How well do you know Bott*?" -> "You and Bott* have history?" (Btw, when saying his name, do we go "Bott-Star", "Bott-Asterisk", or just "Bott"?)

MariogD: "We used to work together. He's decent, but fucked up in the head
sometimes"

Delsin: "Yea, I've noticed"

Delsin: "What's up with him and his shovel?" -> "What's the shovel obsession about?"

MariogD: "You don't want to know"

Delsin: "Hey, follow me, quick!"

Delsin: "It's a simple job" -> "We can take care of this easily enough..."

MariogD: "I don't think so" -> "I have a better idea."

Delsin: <sighs>

Delsin: "What do you mean?"

Delsin: "UGHH, What is that smell?!"

MariogD: "See? There are better ways of dealing with your foes" -> "See that? Not a single drop of blood shed."

Delsin: "Sure..."

Delsin: "You're just showing off" -> "Just your excuse to show off."

MariogD: "It is only when mosquito land on your balls that you realize there is a way to solve problems without using violence" -> "You'd think twice about violence if you needed to deal with a mosquito landing on your balls."

Delsin: <laughs>

Delsin: "Funny"

MariogD: <groan>

MariogD: "Help me!..."

MariogD: <breathing heavily>

MariogD: "Oh my God... That was close" -> "God, that was too close!"

MariogD: "Thanks, man..."

Delsin: "Have you learned something? There is no such thing is a permanent solution. Remain vigilant at all times" -> "Let that be a lesson: No solution is one and done. We must always remain vigilant."

Delsin: "You alright, buddy?"

MariogD: "No, my chest hurts"

Delisn: "Don't worry, we'll take care of that once we get there"

Delisn: "C'mon, just hold on a little longer" -> "Come on, just a little further."

MariogD: "Hey!"

Delsin: "Be quiet..."

Delsin: "Follow me"

MariogD: "What's going on?"

MariogD: "What a beast!"

MariogD: "Why didn't you tell me?"

Delsin: "You told me about the chest, I didn't want you to get heart attack" -> "With your chest weak, I didn't want this to scare your heart out of the cavity."

Delsin: "Do you have another trick up your sleeve?" -> "Got any other tricks up your sleeve?"

MariogD: "Really?"

MariogD: "I thought you didn't like my ideas..."

Delsin: "Why?" -> "Why's that?"

Delsin: "To be honest, they're pretty cool" -> "I'll be frank, they're pretty cool."

MariogD: "I knew it!"

Delsin: "So?"

Delsin: "It's about time you do something smart" -> "No time like the present to show your genius."

MariogD: "I have something tasty for this occasion" -> "I do have this one thing..."

Delsin: "Brilliant idea"

Delsin: "If you don't mind, can I also try?" -> "Don't mind if I do."

MariogD: "Sure, feel free" -> "Sure, help yourself."

MariogD: "Careful now, this is extremely poisonous"

MariogD: "Ready?"

Delsin: "At your command" -> "Standby."

MariogD: "On my mark... 3... 2... 1... Fire!"

MariogD: "Wow... I didn't think it would effect it to such an extent" -> "Wow... The poison's a lot more potent than I thought."

Delsin: "Me too..." -> "Agreed."

Delsin: "Can you help me with this?"

MariogD: "Sure"

MariogD 2021-12-01 09:35:07

Hello @Animetion24,

@Animetion24:
3. - Some dialogue suggestions. Also, consider adding a small comedic line about how Delsin thinks that Mejson and MariogD are birds of a feather in how they seem to like having conversations just to themselves.

@Mariogd:
I think that it can be funny. But I am not sure where and how to add it.

Then he continues (as if to himself), following Delsin (still staring at the ground): "It's not a good time for that right now...". Delsin turns (to MariogD), smiles artificially and says (rhetorically): "Will there be another time?". MariogD looks at him uncertainly, says nothing.

I undestand that you propose use it instead "smiles artificially and says (rhetorically): "Will there be another time?"
@Animetion24 Can you give your proposition?

@Animetion24:
11.-12. - Perhaps Delsin could still be taking a look at the lighter as they walk towards their destination, and then he puts it away to comment on Mr. Mate? I think that would make his remarks seem a little less out of nowhere.

@Mariogd:
I agree that your idea makes it more logical.
@Mejson my proposition (changes in capital letter):

11. The heroes walk side by side (to the right) and talk. Delsin LOOKS AT LIGHTER THAT HE HAS IN HAND AND THEN LOOKS at MariogD and SAYS (interested): "I don't trust this 'Mate' guy..." and adds: "He's an assassin after all".

@Animetion24:
22. - Not so much a suggestion for this scene, but if we are looking for more tension when the survivors have to fight the spiders closer to their homes, I think having scattered, tight silk wires that if the heroes touch creates a vibration (shown by zoom in) that the arachnids are alerted to.
This being said, perhaps Delsin can spot one of these first and he and MariogD carefully trek a "minefield" before finally finding the spider that made them.

@Mariogd:
Agree that it will be fine but also agree with @Mejson that it will be too hard to animate.

To sum up:
@Animetion24 proposition about Mejson and Mariogd are quite the same can be funny, waiting for @Animetion24 input.
@Animetion24 proposition about lighter makes it more logical and it is very easy to animate.
@Animetion24 proposition about web vibration seems to be too hard to animate.

MariogD 2021-12-01 10:11:48

Delsin: "Do you think that was a bit harsh for him?" -> "Don't you think you were a bit harsh on Mejson?" -> OK
MariogD: "I have no idea" -> "I don't really know..." -> OK
MariogD: "I understand we're out of options... but Candy?" -> "I understand we're short-staffed... But why Candy?!" -> Not OK, I personaly use 'out of options' all the time
Delsin: "I'm sure Mejson knows what he's doing" -> "Surely Mejson's got his reasons." -> OK
Delsin: "We need to let Candy grow up on his own" -> "He needs to grow up eventually, too." -> OK
MariogD: "But now?!" -> "But why now?" -> OK
MariogD: "It's not a good time for that right now..." -> "This really isn't a good time for that..." -> OK
Delsin: "Will there be another time?" -> "Think there'll be a better time?" -> OK
MariogD: "I got it from Mate" -> "Compliments of Mr. Mate." -> Not OK
MariogD: "Set it on fire" -> "Set it alight." -> OK
MariogD: "Watch and admire!" -> "Watch and weep!" -> OK
Delsin: "I hope you won't burn us alive" -> "Just don't burn us alive." -> OK
MariogD: "It reminds me of Jimmy..." -> "They remind me of Jimmy." - OK
Delsin: "I don't trust this 'Mate' guy..." -> "I'm not sold on Mr. Mate." -> OK
Delsin: "He's an assassin after all" -> "Kinda hard to trust a known assassin." -> OK
MariogD: "Look around you, a well-trained killer is exactly what we need right now. Plus, he looks pretty cool!" -> "Around these parts, better to have a well-trained killer than not. Besides, he looks awesome!" -> OK
MariogD: "What exactly is your problem?" -> "What's your beef with him?" -> OK
Delsin: "How well do you know Bott*?" -> "You and Bott* have history?" (Btw, when saying his name, do we go "Bott-Star", "Bott-Asterisk", or just "Bott"?) -> OK | Bott is spelled 'Bot' and is written Bott*. @SayMeBott please correct me if I am wrong.
Delsin: "What's up with him and his shovel?" -> "What's the shovel obsession about?" -> OK
Delsin: "It's a simple job" -> "We can take care of this easily enough..." -> OK
MariogD: "I don't think so" -> "I have a better idea." -> OK
MariogD: "See? There are better ways of dealing with your foes" -> "See that? Not a single drop of blood shed." -> OK
Delsin: "You're just showing off" -> "Just your excuse to show off." -> OK
MariogD: "It is only when mosquito land on your balls that you realize there is a way to solve problems without using violence" -> "You'd think twice about violence if you needed to deal with a mosquito landing on your balls." -> Not OK, I prefer my verion
MariogD: "Oh my God... That was close" -> "God, that was too close!" -> OK
Delsin: "Have you learned something? There is no such thing is a permanent solution. Remain vigilant at all times" -> "Let that be a lesson: No solution is one and done. We must always remain vigilant." -> OK
Delisn: "C'mon, just hold on a little longer" -> "Come on, just a little further." -> OK
Delsin: "You told me about the chest, I didn't want you to get heart attack" -> "With your chest weak, I didn't want this to scare your heart out of the cavity." -> OK
Delsin: "Do you have another trick up your sleeve?" -> "Got any other tricks up your sleeve?" -> OK
Delsin: "Why?" -> "Why's that?" -> OK
Delsin: "To be honest, they're pretty cool" -> "I'll be frank, they're pretty cool." -> OK
Delsin: "It's about time you do something smart" -> "No time like the present to show your genius." -> OK
MariogD: "I have something tasty for this occasion" -> "I do have this one thing..." -> Not OK, It is related to one of puzzles from Reduce 2 Summary
Delsin: "If you don't mind, can I also try?" -> "Don't mind if I do." -> OK
MariogD: "Sure, feel free" -> "Sure, help yourself." -> Not OK, I use feel free all the time
Delsin: "At your command" -> "Standby." -> OK
MariogD: "Wow... I didn't think it would effect it to such an extent" -> "Wow... The poison's a lot more potent than I thought." -> OK
Delsin: "Me too..." -> "Agreed." -> OK

@Animetion24 thank for your adjustments. They are great!

AzureDragoonGX 2021-12-01 10:13:59

@MariogD @MariogD @Mejson Hey MariogD,

I was considering adding a segment for that after the character MariogD "continues as if to himself". Delsin first asks him if there'll be another time, and after a little bit, he tries lifting up MariogD's spirits by making a joke about how alike he is with Mejson, on account of liking to seemingly have conversations with themselves.

So in essence...

MariogD "It's not a good time for that right now..."

Delsin: "Will there be another time?"

MariogD: "..."

Delsin: *A couple seconds later* "You and Mejson are birds of a feather, speaking to yourselves like that." *Smirks*

MariogD: *Looks agitated momentarily, then scoffs*

I get the web line exclusion. Let's leave it out.

MariogD 2021-12-01 10:23:04

@Animetion24 I like it

@Mejson please consider (my changes with capital letters at the end of point 3):

3. Delsin replies (seriously): "Surely Mejson's got his reasons" and then adds: "He needs to grow up eventually, too". Delsin look to MariogD as he says it. MariogD looks down at the ground (ponders), then adds (a bit embittered): "But why now?". Then he continues (as if to himself), following Delsin (still staring at the ground): "This really isn't a good time for that...". Delsin turns (to MariogD), smiles artificially and says (rhetorically): "Will there be another time?". MariogD looks at him uncertainly, says nothing. DELSIN SEES MARIOGD IS NOT ANSWERING SAYS "You and Mejson are birds of a feather, speaking to yourselves like that". DELSIN SMIRKS. MARIOGD LOOKS AGITATED MOMENTARILY, THEN SCOFFS.

MariogD 2021-12-01 10:36:20

@Animetion24
we have one more request to you.

We have decided that before Reduce 3 part 2 will be very short summary of part 1.
We would like to kindly ask you to prepare description of most importance events:

Reduce 3 Part 1 has 6 scenes:
https://mejson.newgrounds.com/news/post/1208392
https://mejson.newgrounds.com/news/post/1208819
https://mejson.newgrounds.com/news/post/1209736
https://mejson.newgrounds.com/news/post/1211222
https://mejson.newgrounds.com/news/post/1214189
https://mejson.newgrounds.com/news/post/1216546

In my opinion the most important events:
-> The crew that survived ant's ambush has set up a base in a veranda and found new heroes Bill and Diablo (scene 1 and before Reduce 3 part 1)
-> Mariogd and Delsin founded interesting point on the shelf during it's expedition (scene 2)
-> During expedition to newly discovered point mutated spider attacks. Immediately killed Diablo and hurt Bill (scene 5)
-> Shelf turned out to be worthy. Crew founded cocons with body. New heroes: assassin Mr Mate and scientist-biologist, little crazy Bott* (scene 6)

Feel free to describe what you want.

SayMeBott 2021-12-01 16:08:18

@MariogD @Animetion24 @Mejson
In speech Bot (B-O-T) - thats all, three letters :P
In writen Bott*

Im sure Ive written about it several times, butt* it's better to repeat it again instead of hearing B-O-T-T-S-T-A-R ^^

Cyberdevil 2021-12-02 10:03:47

Time is reaaally flying over here too. :) Closing in on Christmas; all things seem to amount at the end of the year somehow... I guess that might be a part of it...

The idea for a resume before each part sounds great, the dialog looks great, seems y'all been hard at work here already...

It looks good to me.

AzureDragoonGX 2021-12-06 11:34:25

@MariogD @Mejson Hey guys, I made a small description here based off of those news events. Here it is below:

Previously on Reduce III...

The team of Mejson, MariogD, Candy (and his ant), and Delsin incidentally joined up with two new faces in Bill and Diablo. Their leader still continues to suffer psychological setbacks in response to the numerous tragedies of the prior events - a fact that is not lost on the newcomers. But when you get to present gifts from Mazurek, your partners tend to just go with the flow.

Nevertheless, everything they touch continues to turn to dust it seems, as a new foe in a large, mutated spider results in the loss of Diablo, as well as a drastic injury to Bill. Once more, exploration bears the survivors little fruit at such grave cost.

But little fruit doesn't mean what's there isn't worth their weight in gold - after felling the arachnid, the remaining team finds a couple cocoons their size. Cutting them open reveals two new - and effective recruits: the boastful assassin, Mr. Mate, and the nutty shovel-head of a biologist, Bott*.

Only time will tell what this team of survivors will do to escape the grass forest's innumerable dangers now. And if they might ever be able to confront the one who put them all in this dreadful situation...

Also, I have the completed voice files (all .m4a, and <= 5 sec. long) and by EoD I'll be able to upload them to your message to me about the script, @Mejson . :)

AzureDragoonGX 2021-12-06 15:47:23

@Mejson @Mejson Hey Mejson,

We can probably leave it out. Up until this point, there has been a lot of trekking through tall grass in the story, so that just came naturally.

As for the M4A files, I remember you sending a direct message which I'll reply to with the zip file full of them. However, you cannot open .m4a? The way I understood the file type, it was merely an update to the .mp3 format with higher audio quality.

Not certain how I can convert the audio. Did it many years back with Audacity, but given recent events with that, can't do it now.

MariogD 2021-12-06 15:58:18

@Animetion24
Thank you for your time. Description is exactly what I imagined!
If you mind I want to change two things:
1. inclusion "and his ant" is redundant. Personally I would stay only with humans.
2. In Reduce 3 we change environment from backyard to veranda, so I would change "to escape the grass forest's innumerable dangers now" to "to escape the veranda's innumerable dangers now" -> @Mejson please confirm.

I have problem with "Previously in part one" (I remember we have discussed it internally earlier), but it sounds ... strange. It is obvious that part one was previously ( before part 2) so maybe we should stay with @Animetion24 proposition "Previously on Reduce III...". It sounds more natural.

AzureDragoonGX 2021-12-07 08:46:05

@Mejson Done. Sent a reply to the PM with a dump link. Check it out. :)

AzureDragoonGX 2021-12-13 11:24:20

@Mejson Hey Mejson and co., excellent to hear that my voice files worked out.

Eager to see the next post in due time. ^^