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Reduce 3 - Scene 9 (Planning/Draft)

Posted by Mejson - November 28th, 2021


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Welcome everyone!


How are you guys? Those two weeks passed quickly... I don't know when XD But all the time we keep going!


From the pending events:

  • we are still waiting for VA from @Animetion24 to Delsin (we can't wait). How is going, buddy?,
  • @Plasmarift is still apparently working hard on the narrative (I hope so).


I have a question. It seems to me that we should consider the narrative for Part II and Part III (about the previous parts of Reduce 3 at the beginning). Such general information, what happened, for example, in Reduce 3 - Part I. What do you think about it?


Thanks for helping @ChordC & @MariogD to plan & improve this scene.


What do you think about it, @Cyberdevil@Animetion24@ChordC@MariogD@SayMeBott?


Regards,

Mejson


Scene 9 - Sharp-shooters

Inscription (on black background):

Episode 9
Day 30
(at the same time)
7:33 AM


Action:

1. The scene starts at the top (on corner) of the cabinet from Scene 5. The anchor (arrow with the archer's rope - MariogD's stuff) is hooked on the cabinet. Camera on heroes. MariogD climbs the rope (it is practically at the top). Delsin looks at him. MariogD is at the edge, Delsin leans over and he holds out her hand to him and says (calmly): "Take my hand". MariogD looks at Delsin, who helps him climb. MariogD then stands up and says (still a bit annoyed - on squint one's eyes): "Thanks".

2. MariogD removes his bow from his body, then goes right without saying a word. Delsin watches him silently, then follows him. They walk for a moment in silence (silence). After a moment Delsin says: "Don't you think you were a bit harsh on Mejson?". MariogD replies without turning (indifferently): "I don't really know..." and after a while <sighs>, he calms down and adds: "I understand we're out of options... but Candy?". MariogD stops when he says this and turn head to Delsin.

3. Delsin replies (seriously): "Surely Mejson's got his reasons" and then adds: "He needs to grow up eventually, too". Delsin look to MariogD as he says it. MariogD looks down at the ground (ponders), then adds (a bit embittered): "But why now?". Then he continues (as if to himself), following Delsin (still staring at the ground): "This really isn't a good time for that...". Delsin turns (to MariogD), smiles artificially and says (rhetorically): "Think there'll be a better time?". MariogD looks at him uncertainly, says nothing. Delsin sees MariogD is not answering says: "You and Mejson are birds of a feather, speaking to yourselves like that". Delsin smirks. MariogD looks surprised.

4. Suddenly, Delsin stops (he squint one's eyes) and crouches at the same time (with his hand) give a sign to MariogD. MariogD also makes a serious face and also squat. MariogD whispers: "What do we have here". The camera moves to the left. In front of the heroes there is a cactus in a pot plant (also with a bit of spider webs). There are aphids in front of (and on) the plant pot. Three large and several small ones. Small aphids also sit on the edges of the pot plant (one on the left and one on the right).

5. The camera returns to the heroes. Delsin has his gun ready to shoot. He raises his gun (spear laucher) - he is about to shoot, and suddenly Mariogd whispers firmly: "Wait!". And then adds: "I have a better idea". Delsin lowers his gun, turns his head and asks (interested): "What?". MariogD smiles, hands Delsin a lighter and says: "Here, take this". Delsin turns his body to MariogD, takes the lighter and asks in surprise: "Where did you get this?". MariogD smiles more and replies: "Compliments of Mr. Mate". Delsin said nothing.

6. MariogD unclips (from the body) a small wooden jar and places it on the ground in front of him. He then takes a cork (also wooden) from a small wooden jar (MariogD has two wooden jars attached to the belt - one on the right and one on the left of the body). There is a flame carved on this jar. Then MariogD takes out a special arrow (this is not a standard arrow) and then (for a moment) put the tip of the arrow into the jar (sticky, slightly brown substance - honey-based). Delsin observes (curiously) this enterprise without saying a word.

7. MariogD look at Delsin, put an arrow towards him and says: "Set it alight". Without a word, Delsin ignites the arrow, the point of which ignites violently. MariogD put an arrow over the bow and draw a bow (held in the other hand). MariogD says (confident): "Watch and weep!". MariogD shoots and the camera follows the arrow. The arrow sticks between the aphids, and after a while another two arrows. All the aphids scared (from the fire) run away. Camera returns to the heroes. Both are already going to right. MariogD has already hidden his stuff.

8. MariogD, smug with himself, says the first: "Pretty cool, huh?". Delsin replies: "Yea, not bad". Next Delsin looks at him (squint one's eyes) and says: "Just don't burn us alive". MariogD grows serious and says: "I'm not a child!". Delsin's expression returns to normal, he says nothing more. Both are in front of the plant pot. Delsin runs up and takes out the arrows, puts them together on the ground (in the same direction), then he extinguishes them by treading his foot (he tramples using his foot).

9. While Delsin extinguish arrows, MariogD stops and looks up at the cactus, his face saddened. After a while he (MariogD) says in an absent voice: "Cactus spines...". Delsin turns around (to MariogD): "What?". MariogD looks in his direction, closes his eyes for a moment (looking down at the ground), then opens them (looking at Delsin) and says to Delsin: "They remind me of Jimmy". Delsin asks (interested): "Who's that?". MariogD <sighs> looking down at the ground then back at Delsin and says: "He was a great man". After a while he adds: "Too great...". Delsin nods slowly (he doesn't quite understand what MariogD meant). MariogD after a while says: "Nevermind, we need to carry on...". They both start to go right. Blackout.


10. A large digital clock appears on a black background, showing the time: 7:33 AM + <time elapsed in this scene>. Suddenly the time starts running fast (24 minutes) until it stops at: 7:57 AM. Then the clock disappears after a while. The black background fades (transparency) to showing the new area.


11. The heroes walk side by side (to the right) and talk. Delsin looks at lighter that he has in hand and then looks at MariogD and says (interested): "I'm not sold on Mr. Mate" and adds: "Kinda hard to trust a known assassin". Delisn retracts the lighter. MariogD looks at Delsin and says (calmly): "Around these parts, better to have a well-trained killer than not. Besides, he looks awesome!", then smirks (squint one's eyes) and says: "What's your beef with him?". Delsin doesn't reply, just raises an eyebrow. They both stare straight ahead for a moment. Then Delsin looks back at MariogD and asks: "You and Bott* have history?". MariogD looks at Delsin and replies: "We used to work together. He's decent, but fucked up in the head sometimes". Delsin smiles and says: "Yea, I've noticed". After a while, he adds: "What's the shovel obsession about?".

12. MariogD smiles and replies: "You don't want to know". Delsin blinks twice (a bit surprised by the answer), then looks ahead and squint one's eyes and says (firmly): "Hey, follow me, quick!". They both run fast to the right and up (diagonally). MariogD right behind Delsin. Both are hiding behind a glass bottle (spray with a dark substance - it is slightly transparent, there is a plastic tube inside). The heroes disappear behind this object. The camera that has followed the heroes so far - zoom out (some) and go to right. There's a fire ant standing there, which was the front to the heroes, but is interested in the stain on the floor, so it didn't react from such a distance.

13. The camera move (also zoom in) to the right glass bottle's side. Behind it heroes are show up (a little) - MariogD lower, and Delsin higher. Delsin speaks the first confident (whisper): "We can take care of this easily enough...". MariogD smiles and says (whisper): "I have a better idea". MariogD disappears behind the bottle. Delsin looks (left) after him, <sighs>, asks (in a whisper): "What do you mean?". Delsin also disappears behind the bottle. After a while, the bottle turns slightly transparent (50%). Delsin runs to the crouched MariogD (left edge of the bottle).

14. MariogD holds a bait arrow in one hand, and a jar in the other, with its contents pouring over the arrow. MariogD has squeezed lids and eyes (as if he was holding his breath). After that, MariogD quickly puts the jar on the ground (it has a picture of a dead fish with an odor) and closes it. Then he shoots (also quickly). There is a visible greenish smoke (rot) from both - the jar and the arrow. When MariogD was pouring it (substance) on the arrow, Delsin covers his face and says (disgusted & shudder): "UGHH, What is that smell?!". MariogD did not react (he was busy).

15. The camera moves (also a little zoom out) left and down (diagonally). It shows an arrow stuck in the ground (you can see this stink - greenish smoke). After a while, the camera moves a little to the right, a running fire ant appears (the camera follows her). The ant stops right next to the bait and examines it with its antennae. In the meantime, the heroes disappear (they watched this for a while).

16. The camera moves to the right (also a little zoom in) - to the right edge of the bottle. After a while, MariogD's head peeks out from behind her (he checks if it's safe). MariogD then goes right, followed by Delsin (he has a slightly resigned expression) at a greater distance. MariogD (without turning around) says (confident & smug): "See that? Not a single drop of blood shed". Delsin says (indifferently): "Sure..." and then adds (maliciously): "Just your excuse to show off".

17. MariogD stops (Delsin too) and turns (whole body) and says (confident): "It is only when mosquito land on your balls that you realize there is a way to solve problems without using violence". Delsin makes a shoked face for a second, then <laughs> for a moment, and MariogD smiles. Delsin (as he finished laughing) replies (amused): "Funny". Suddenly, a fire ant jumps off the bottle and lands on MariogD (he presses him with his front leg to the ground). Camera zoom in half of the ant and MariogD. MariogD only managed to: <groan>, and after a while he screams in a desperate voice: "Help me!...". The MariogD bow fell next to him, and he grabbed (with both hands) the ant's leg (he tries to free himself). The ant tilts its head (moves its antennae) towards MariogD.

18. Delsin runs between the ant's legs, skids on its knee, and shoots at the ant head (when he's slide under ant's head). While still sliding, he turns. Next grabs MariogD by the shoulders, then stands up and pulls MariogD (Delsin takes a few quick steps back) before ant's body was falling down to ground. Delsin helps MariogD get up. MariogD then leans back a little, puts his hands on his hips, and <breathing heavily> for a while and says (scary): "God, that was too close!". MariogD calms down, turns around and says to Delsin: "Thanks, man...". Delsin watches MariogD calmly in silence, then says (firmly, but not maliciously): "Let that be a lesson: No solution is one and done. We must always remain vigilant". MariogD (a bit embarrassed) nods. Blackout.


19. A large digital clock appears on a black background, showing the time: 7:57 AM + <time elapsed in this scene>. Suddenly the time starts running fast (31 minutes) until it stops at: 8:28 AM. Then the clock disappears after a while. The black background fades (transparency) to showing the new area.


20. Delsin goes ahead (first), followed by MariogD. MariogD is somewhat depressed (he has a disheartened expression on his face). Suddenly Delsin stops and turns his head and asks (interested): "You alright, buddy?". MariogD stops, touches his chest (leaning slightly forward) and replies (gloomily & with pain): "No, my chest hurts". Delisn replies (reassuringly): "Don't worry, we'll take care of that once we get there". Then he pulls out a map and after a while he says: "Come on, just a little further". Then Delsin hides the map and they walk in silence.

21. MariogD looks at the ground as he walks (looks tired). Suddenly Delsin stops. He smiles and then he looks up and his expression changes to horror - he is stunned. MariogD bounces off his back (he doesn't notice Delsin stopping) and says, exasperated: "Hey!". The blow shudders Delsin and sobers. Delsin whispers: "Be quiet...". Then he starts running bent over, and whispers: "Follow me". MariogD does the same and asks (intrigued): "What's going on?". Delsin doesn't answer (he has a serious expression).

22. Camera going to right (also zoom out a little) on plant pot with spider web (Aloe). On the plant (cobwebs) sits a spider (much larger than the one that killed Diablo) in a brown-maroon color (previously spider was black). There is a large cobweb (its visible fragment) between the object and the plant pot. The camera returns to the heroes (also zoom in a little). They are hidden (their heads stick out a little from object - as before) behind a plastic white bottle (plant growth chemicals). MariogD is shocked, says (in a whisper): "What a beast!".

23. MariogD then looks at Delsin and whispers (a bit reproachfully): "Why didn't you tell me?". Delsin looks at him calmly and says (whisper): "With your chest weak, I didn't want this to scare your heart out of the cavity". MariogD raises an eyebrow in react (squint one's eyes a little), but says nothing. Then they both look at the spider again. After a moment, Delsin asks: "Got any other tricks up your sleeve?". MariogD looks at him (a bit surprised) and replies: "Really?". And then adds: "I thought you didn't like my ideas...". Delsin looks at him and whispers (softly): "Why's that?". Then adds: "I'll be frank, they're pretty cool". He smiles at MariogD. MariogD says (whispering): "I knew it!". MariogD smiles.

24. Delsin breaks this happy moment (curious): "So?". Then adds: "No time like the present to show your genius". MariogD without looking at Delsin smiles (to himself) madly (psychopathic expression) for a moment and says: "I have something tasty for this occasion". As he says this, he detaches the small wooden jar from own neck and sets it on the ground. This time there is a skull symbol carved on the small jar. MariogD takes an arrow from a quiver and then dips it in a purple substance (poison). 

25. Delsin watched him with interested, then asks (interested): "Brilliant idea". And then adds: "Don't mind if I do". MariogD gives him the jar up (Delsin stands over him) saying (in a whisper): "Sure, feel free". Delsin picks up the jar, and then pours out (a little) its contents over the tip the spear ammo (located in his gun). During this activity, MariogD whispers: "Careful now, this is extremely poisonous". Without a word, Delsin plugs the jar with cork and then returns this jar to MariogD. 

26. MariogD hangs the jar on own neck. Both are getting ready to shoot (aiming, etc.). MariogD glances at Delsin and whispers (focused): "Ready?". Without taking his eyes off the target, Delsin whispers: "Standby". MariogD says: "On my mark... 3... 2... 1... Fire!" The missile and the arrow fly to the target (to the right) and the camera follows (shows this flight).

27. Both it hit to the spider's body. The beast shudders and emits a dark groan. Then it jumps from the plant (Aloe) to the ground (probably looking for the victim). The spider make a cloud of dust when land on the ground. The dust has barely descended (disappeared), and suddenly the spider starts convulsing (shaking and moving its front legs), making many dark groans at the same time. Then the spider slide down to graund without life. The camera returns (also zoom in a little) to the heroes.

28. They both have surprised expressions (faces). MariogD is the first to speak: "Wow... The poison's a lot more potent than I thought". Delsin, without taking his eyes off the spider, says: "Agreed". After a while, Delsin looks at Aloe, and points with his hand (to the right and up) and says (calmly): "Can you help me with this?". MariogD also looks in that direction and says (also calmly): "Sure". Blackout.


Light effect:

Yellow (morning).


Dialogues:

Delsin: "Take my hand"
MariogD: "Thanks"
Delsin: "Don't you think you were a bit harsh on Mejson?"
MariogD: "I don't really know..."
MariogD: <sighs>
MariogD: "I understand we're out of options... but Candy?"
Delsin: "Surely Mejson's got his reasons"
Delsin: "He needs to grow up eventually, too"
MariogD: "But why now?"
MariogD: "This really isn't a good time for that..."
Delsin: "Think there'll be a better time?"
Delsin: "You and Mejson are birds of a feather, speaking to yourselves like that"
MariogD: "What do we have here"
MariogD: "Wait!"
MariogD: "I have a better idea"
Delsin: "What?"
MariogD: "Here, take this"
Delsin: "Where did you get this?"
MariogD: "Compliments of Mr. Mate"
MariogD: "Set it alight"
MariogD: "Watch and weep!"
MariogD: "Pretty cool, huh?"
Delsin: "Yea, not bad"
Delsin: "Just don't burn us alive"
MariogD: "I'm not a child!"
MariogD: "Cactus spines..."
Delsin: "What?"
MariogD: "They remind me of Jimmy"
Delsin: "Who's that?"
MariogD: <sighs>
MariogD: "He was a great man"
MariogD: "Too great..."
MariogD: "Nevermind, we need to carry on..."
Delsin: "I'm not sold on Mr. Mate"
Delsin: "Kinda hard to trust a known assassin"
MariogD: "Around these parts, better to have a well-trained killer than not. Besides, he looks awesome!"
MariogD: "What's your beef with him?"
Delsin: "You and Bott* have history?"
MariogD: "We used to work together. He's decent, but fucked up in the head sometimes"
Delsin: "Yea, I've noticed"
Delsin: "What's the shovel obsession about?"
MariogD: "You don't want to know"
Delsin: "Hey, follow me, quick!"
Delsin: "We can take care of this easily enough..."
MariogD: "I have a better idea"
Delsin: <sighs>
Delsin: "What do you mean?"
Delsin: "UGHH, What is that smell?!"
MariogD: "See that? Not a single drop of blood shed"
Delsin: "Sure..."
Delsin: "Just your excuse to show off"
MariogD: "It is only when mosquito land on your balls that you realize there is a way to solve problems without using violence"
Delsin: <laughs>
Delsin: "Funny"
MariogD: <groan>
MariogD: "Help me!..."
MariogD: <breathing heavily>
MariogD: "God, that was too close!"
MariogD: "Thanks, man..."
Delsin: "Let that be a lesson: No solution is one and done. We must always remain vigilant"
Delsin: "You alright, buddy?"
MariogD: "No, my chest hurts"
Delisn: "Don't worry, we'll take care of that once we get there"
Delisn: "Come on, just a little further"
MariogD: "Hey!"
Delsin: "Be quiet..."
Delsin: "Follow me"
MariogD: "What's going on?"
MariogD: "What a beast!"
MariogD: "Why didn't you tell me?"
Delsin: "With your chest weak, I didn't want this to scare your heart out of the cavity"
Delsin: "Got any other tricks up your sleeve?"
MariogD: "Really?"
MariogD: "I thought you didn't like my ideas..."
Delsin: "Why's that?"
Delsin: "I'll be frank, they're pretty cool"
MariogD: "I knew it!"
Delsin: "So?"
Delsin: "No time like the present to show your genius"
MariogD: "I have something tasty for this occasion"
Delsin: "Brilliant idea"
Delsin: "Don't mind if I do"
MariogD: "Sure, feel free"
MariogD: "Careful now, this is extremely poisonous"
MariogD: "Ready?"
Delsin: "Standby"
MariogD: "On my mark... 3... 2... 1... Fire!"
MariogD: "Wow... The poison's a lot more potent than I thought"
Delsin: "Agreed"
Delsin: "Can you help me with this?"
MariogD: "Sure"

Tags:

7

Comments

@Colizza, you like our Posters for a long time, well nobody will hurt you if you write something XD What do you think about Reduce Saga? :)

In my opiniom it should be with narrative:
At the beginning of the major version like reduce 3 or reduce 4 - summary of whole story from beginning
At the beginning of minor part like reduce 3 part 2 - reminder only about previous part
So I totally agree with my brother @Mejson

Well, that's what I wrote... XD I have no strength to write so much.

Great adventure of two characters!
On narrative, I agree with @MariogD

Thanks, I came up with this XD

Oh my God it is only half of the planning :D

It does not work like that. I think two scenes of the more difficult ones have remained.

@Mejson Okay, now I answer xD I like the concept, very inspired by Ant Bully. The stickman style is cool too.

Wow, he says! XD Super, buddy :)

Yes, I don't know it, but probably like this: P Just like the game 'Grounded' has been developed by an independent studio for some time. Hehehe, they boast that it is their unique idea of XD Morons XD

Thanks for the comment, nice you like it :)

Regards,
Mejson

Hey guys, yeah the voice lines are taking a bit. Also will try to draft out this scene later today.

Cool, got it!

1.-2. - "he holds out her hand." ^^' A he, please. :) Otherwise, some dialogue suggestions.

3. - Some dialogue suggestions. Also, consider adding a small comedic line about how Delsin thinks that Mejson and MariogD are birds of a feather in how they seem to like having conversations just to themselves.

4.-6. - Good to go.

7.-10. - Good to go, but some dialogue changes.

11.-12. - Perhaps Delsin could still be taking a look at the lighter as they walk towards their destination, and then he puts it away to comment on Mr. Mate? I think that would make his remarks seem a little less out of nowhere.

13.-14. - Some dialogue suggestions.

15.-21. - Good to go.

22. - Not so much a suggestion for this scene, but if we are looking for more tension when the survivors have to fight the spiders closer to their homes, I think having scattered, tight silk wires that if the heroes touch creates a vibration (shown by zoom in) that the arachnids are alerted to.
This being said, perhaps Delsin can spot one of these first and he and MariogD carefully trek a "minefield" before finally finding the spider that made them.

23-28. - Good to go.

1-2. Uhhh... plain grammar error :P

3. I don't understand (I guess it's something cool), @MariogD will embrace it (it's your scene) :)

11-12. Delsin immediately returned the MariogD lighter (this moment was not shown because we do not show everything).

22. I don't know if, where or how we can put it. It seems very complicated. We was used a similar theme one before. I'll add more cobwebs between the object and the plant pot in this scene. @MariogD, what do you say?

Delsin: "Take my hand"

MariogD: "Thanks"

Delsin: "Do you think that was a bit harsh for him?" -> "Don't you think you were a bit harsh on Mejson?"

MariogD: "I have no idea" -> "I don't really know..."

MariogD: <sighs>

MariogD: "I understand we're out of options... but Candy?" -> "I understand we're short-staffed... But why Candy?!"

Delsin: "I'm sure Mejson knows what he's doing" -> "Surely Mejson's got his reasons."

Delsin: "We need to let Candy grow up on his own" -> "He needs to grow up eventually, too."

MariogD: "But now?!" -> "But why now?"

MariogD: "It's not a good time for that right now..." -> "This really isn't a good time for that..."

Delsin: "Will there be another time?" -> "Think there'll be a better time?"

MariogD: "What do we have here?"

MariogD: "Wait!"

MariogD: "I have a better idea"

Delsin: "What?"

MariogD: "Here, take this."

Delsin: "Where did you get this?"

MariogD: "I got it from Mate" -> "Compliments of Mr. Mate."

MariogD: "Set it on fire" -> "Set it alight."

MariogD: "Watch and admire!" -> "Watch and weep!"

MariogD: "Pretty cool, huh?"

Delsin: "Yea, not bad."

Delsin: "I hope you won't burn us alive" -> "Just don't burn us alive."

MariogD: "I'm not a child!"

MariogD: "Cactus spines..."

Delsin: "What?"

MariogD: "It reminds me of Jimmy..." -> "They remind me of Jimmy."

Delsin: "Who's that?"

MariogD: <sighs>

MariogD: "He was a great man"

MariogD: "Too great..."

MariogD: "Nevermind, we need to carry on..."

Delsin: "I don't trust this 'Mate' guy..." -> "I'm not sold on Mr. Mate."

Delsin: "He's an assassin after all" -> "Kinda hard to trust a known assassin."

MariogD: "Look around you, a well-trained killer is exactly what we need right now. Plus, he looks pretty cool!" -> "Around these parts, better to have a well-trained killer than not. Besides, he looks awesome!"

MariogD: "What exactly is your problem?" -> "What's your beef with him?"

Delsin: "How well do you know Bott*?" -> "You and Bott* have history?" (Btw, when saying his name, do we go "Bott-Star", "Bott-Asterisk", or just "Bott"?)

MariogD: "We used to work together. He's decent, but fucked up in the head
sometimes"

Delsin: "Yea, I've noticed"

Delsin: "What's up with him and his shovel?" -> "What's the shovel obsession about?"

MariogD: "You don't want to know"

Delsin: "Hey, follow me, quick!"

Delsin: "It's a simple job" -> "We can take care of this easily enough..."

MariogD: "I don't think so" -> "I have a better idea."

Delsin: <sighs>

Delsin: "What do you mean?"

Delsin: "UGHH, What is that smell?!"

MariogD: "See? There are better ways of dealing with your foes" -> "See that? Not a single drop of blood shed."

Delsin: "Sure..."

Delsin: "You're just showing off" -> "Just your excuse to show off."

MariogD: "It is only when mosquito land on your balls that you realize there is a way to solve problems without using violence" -> "You'd think twice about violence if you needed to deal with a mosquito landing on your balls."

Delsin: <laughs>

Delsin: "Funny"

MariogD: <groan>

MariogD: "Help me!..."

MariogD: <breathing heavily>

MariogD: "Oh my God... That was close" -> "God, that was too close!"

MariogD: "Thanks, man..."

Delsin: "Have you learned something? There is no such thing is a permanent solution. Remain vigilant at all times" -> "Let that be a lesson: No solution is one and done. We must always remain vigilant."

Delsin: "You alright, buddy?"

MariogD: "No, my chest hurts"

Delisn: "Don't worry, we'll take care of that once we get there"

Delisn: "C'mon, just hold on a little longer" -> "Come on, just a little further."

MariogD: "Hey!"

Delsin: "Be quiet..."

Delsin: "Follow me"

MariogD: "What's going on?"

MariogD: "What a beast!"

MariogD: "Why didn't you tell me?"

Delsin: "You told me about the chest, I didn't want you to get heart attack" -> "With your chest weak, I didn't want this to scare your heart out of the cavity."

Delsin: "Do you have another trick up your sleeve?" -> "Got any other tricks up your sleeve?"

MariogD: "Really?"

MariogD: "I thought you didn't like my ideas..."

Delsin: "Why?" -> "Why's that?"

Delsin: "To be honest, they're pretty cool" -> "I'll be frank, they're pretty cool."

MariogD: "I knew it!"

Delsin: "So?"

Delsin: "It's about time you do something smart" -> "No time like the present to show your genius."

MariogD: "I have something tasty for this occasion" -> "I do have this one thing..."

Delsin: "Brilliant idea"

Delsin: "If you don't mind, can I also try?" -> "Don't mind if I do."

MariogD: "Sure, feel free" -> "Sure, help yourself."

MariogD: "Careful now, this is extremely poisonous"

MariogD: "Ready?"

Delsin: "At your command" -> "Standby."

MariogD: "On my mark... 3... 2... 1... Fire!"

MariogD: "Wow... I didn't think it would effect it to such an extent" -> "Wow... The poison's a lot more potent than I thought."

Delsin: "Me too..." -> "Agreed."

Delsin: "Can you help me with this?"

MariogD: "Sure"

Great fixes! I like them! As previously spelled the nickname Bott* pronounced: <Bot>.

Hello @Animetion24,

@Animetion24:
3. - Some dialogue suggestions. Also, consider adding a small comedic line about how Delsin thinks that Mejson and MariogD are birds of a feather in how they seem to like having conversations just to themselves.

@Mariogd:
I think that it can be funny. But I am not sure where and how to add it.

Then he continues (as if to himself), following Delsin (still staring at the ground): "It's not a good time for that right now...". Delsin turns (to MariogD), smiles artificially and says (rhetorically): "Will there be another time?". MariogD looks at him uncertainly, says nothing.

I undestand that you propose use it instead "smiles artificially and says (rhetorically): "Will there be another time?"
@Animetion24 Can you give your proposition?

@Animetion24:
11.-12. - Perhaps Delsin could still be taking a look at the lighter as they walk towards their destination, and then he puts it away to comment on Mr. Mate? I think that would make his remarks seem a little less out of nowhere.

@Mariogd:
I agree that your idea makes it more logical.
@Mejson my proposition (changes in capital letter):

11. The heroes walk side by side (to the right) and talk. Delsin LOOKS AT LIGHTER THAT HE HAS IN HAND AND THEN LOOKS at MariogD and SAYS (interested): "I don't trust this 'Mate' guy..." and adds: "He's an assassin after all".

@Animetion24:
22. - Not so much a suggestion for this scene, but if we are looking for more tension when the survivors have to fight the spiders closer to their homes, I think having scattered, tight silk wires that if the heroes touch creates a vibration (shown by zoom in) that the arachnids are alerted to.
This being said, perhaps Delsin can spot one of these first and he and MariogD carefully trek a "minefield" before finally finding the spider that made them.

@Mariogd:
Agree that it will be fine but also agree with @Mejson that it will be too hard to animate.

To sum up:
@Animetion24 proposition about Mejson and Mariogd are quite the same can be funny, waiting for @Animetion24 input.
@Animetion24 proposition about lighter makes it more logical and it is very easy to animate.
@Animetion24 proposition about web vibration seems to be too hard to animate.

Thanks for the corrections! Corrected! Thanks for the help!

Delsin: "Do you think that was a bit harsh for him?" -> "Don't you think you were a bit harsh on Mejson?" -> OK
MariogD: "I have no idea" -> "I don't really know..." -> OK
MariogD: "I understand we're out of options... but Candy?" -> "I understand we're short-staffed... But why Candy?!" -> Not OK, I personaly use 'out of options' all the time
Delsin: "I'm sure Mejson knows what he's doing" -> "Surely Mejson's got his reasons." -> OK
Delsin: "We need to let Candy grow up on his own" -> "He needs to grow up eventually, too." -> OK
MariogD: "But now?!" -> "But why now?" -> OK
MariogD: "It's not a good time for that right now..." -> "This really isn't a good time for that..." -> OK
Delsin: "Will there be another time?" -> "Think there'll be a better time?" -> OK
MariogD: "I got it from Mate" -> "Compliments of Mr. Mate." -> Not OK
MariogD: "Set it on fire" -> "Set it alight." -> OK
MariogD: "Watch and admire!" -> "Watch and weep!" -> OK
Delsin: "I hope you won't burn us alive" -> "Just don't burn us alive." -> OK
MariogD: "It reminds me of Jimmy..." -> "They remind me of Jimmy." - OK
Delsin: "I don't trust this 'Mate' guy..." -> "I'm not sold on Mr. Mate." -> OK
Delsin: "He's an assassin after all" -> "Kinda hard to trust a known assassin." -> OK
MariogD: "Look around you, a well-trained killer is exactly what we need right now. Plus, he looks pretty cool!" -> "Around these parts, better to have a well-trained killer than not. Besides, he looks awesome!" -> OK
MariogD: "What exactly is your problem?" -> "What's your beef with him?" -> OK
Delsin: "How well do you know Bott*?" -> "You and Bott* have history?" (Btw, when saying his name, do we go "Bott-Star", "Bott-Asterisk", or just "Bott"?) -> OK | Bott is spelled 'Bot' and is written Bott*. @SayMeBott please correct me if I am wrong.
Delsin: "What's up with him and his shovel?" -> "What's the shovel obsession about?" -> OK
Delsin: "It's a simple job" -> "We can take care of this easily enough..." -> OK
MariogD: "I don't think so" -> "I have a better idea." -> OK
MariogD: "See? There are better ways of dealing with your foes" -> "See that? Not a single drop of blood shed." -> OK
Delsin: "You're just showing off" -> "Just your excuse to show off." -> OK
MariogD: "It is only when mosquito land on your balls that you realize there is a way to solve problems without using violence" -> "You'd think twice about violence if you needed to deal with a mosquito landing on your balls." -> Not OK, I prefer my verion
MariogD: "Oh my God... That was close" -> "God, that was too close!" -> OK
Delsin: "Have you learned something? There is no such thing is a permanent solution. Remain vigilant at all times" -> "Let that be a lesson: No solution is one and done. We must always remain vigilant." -> OK
Delisn: "C'mon, just hold on a little longer" -> "Come on, just a little further." -> OK
Delsin: "You told me about the chest, I didn't want you to get heart attack" -> "With your chest weak, I didn't want this to scare your heart out of the cavity." -> OK
Delsin: "Do you have another trick up your sleeve?" -> "Got any other tricks up your sleeve?" -> OK
Delsin: "Why?" -> "Why's that?" -> OK
Delsin: "To be honest, they're pretty cool" -> "I'll be frank, they're pretty cool." -> OK
Delsin: "It's about time you do something smart" -> "No time like the present to show your genius." -> OK
MariogD: "I have something tasty for this occasion" -> "I do have this one thing..." -> Not OK, It is related to one of puzzles from Reduce 2 Summary
Delsin: "If you don't mind, can I also try?" -> "Don't mind if I do." -> OK
MariogD: "Sure, feel free" -> "Sure, help yourself." -> Not OK, I use feel free all the time
Delsin: "At your command" -> "Standby." -> OK
MariogD: "Wow... I didn't think it would effect it to such an extent" -> "Wow... The poison's a lot more potent than I thought." -> OK
Delsin: "Me too..." -> "Agreed." -> OK

@Animetion24 thank for your adjustments. They are great!

Accepted, MariogD decided! This is his scene :P This time I let him go crazy XD

@MariogD @MariogD @Mejson Hey MariogD,

I was considering adding a segment for that after the character MariogD "continues as if to himself". Delsin first asks him if there'll be another time, and after a little bit, he tries lifting up MariogD's spirits by making a joke about how alike he is with Mejson, on account of liking to seemingly have conversations with themselves.

So in essence...

MariogD "It's not a good time for that right now..."

Delsin: "Will there be another time?"

MariogD: "..."

Delsin: *A couple seconds later* "You and Mejson are birds of a feather, speaking to yourselves like that." *Smirks*

MariogD: *Looks agitated momentarily, then scoffs*

I get the web line exclusion. Let's leave it out.

Customized! Thanks, buddy!

@Animetion24 I like it

@Mejson please consider (my changes with capital letters at the end of point 3):

3. Delsin replies (seriously): "Surely Mejson's got his reasons" and then adds: "He needs to grow up eventually, too". Delsin look to MariogD as he says it. MariogD looks down at the ground (ponders), then adds (a bit embittered): "But why now?". Then he continues (as if to himself), following Delsin (still staring at the ground): "This really isn't a good time for that...". Delsin turns (to MariogD), smiles artificially and says (rhetorically): "Will there be another time?". MariogD looks at him uncertainly, says nothing. DELSIN SEES MARIOGD IS NOT ANSWERING SAYS "You and Mejson are birds of a feather, speaking to yourselves like that". DELSIN SMIRKS. MARIOGD LOOKS AGITATED MOMENTARILY, THEN SCOFFS.

Okay, it's done!

@Animetion24
we have one more request to you.

We have decided that before Reduce 3 part 2 will be very short summary of part 1.
We would like to kindly ask you to prepare description of most importance events:

Reduce 3 Part 1 has 6 scenes:
https://mejson.newgrounds.com/news/post/1208392
https://mejson.newgrounds.com/news/post/1208819
https://mejson.newgrounds.com/news/post/1209736
https://mejson.newgrounds.com/news/post/1211222
https://mejson.newgrounds.com/news/post/1214189
https://mejson.newgrounds.com/news/post/1216546

In my opinion the most important events:
-> The crew that survived ant's ambush has set up a base in a veranda and found new heroes Bill and Diablo (scene 1 and before Reduce 3 part 1)
-> Mariogd and Delsin founded interesting point on the shelf during it's expedition (scene 2)
-> During expedition to newly discovered point mutated spider attacks. Immediately killed Diablo and hurt Bill (scene 5)
-> Shelf turned out to be worthy. Crew founded cocons with body. New heroes: assassin Mr Mate and scientist-biologist, little crazy Bott* (scene 6)

Feel free to describe what you want.

You forgot to add that this is a narrative! It starts with: "Previously in part one..."

Thanks brother for your help! And an explanation!

@MariogD @Animetion24 @Mejson
In speech Bot (B-O-T) - thats all, three letters :P
In writen Bott*

Im sure Ive written about it several times, butt* it's better to repeat it again instead of hearing B-O-T-T-S-T-A-R ^^

Yes exactly! We perpetuate this, my gentlemens! :)

OK, I guess all corrected! Someone can take a peek :) Is it ok. I will close / approve!

Thank you for all your help!

Time is reaaally flying over here too. :) Closing in on Christmas; all things seem to amount at the end of the year somehow... I guess that might be a part of it...

The idea for a resume before each part sounds great, the dialog looks great, seems y'all been hard at work here already...

It looks good to me.

Thanks dude! Cool! It's true, time flies fast XD Especially when you work and design a lot :P

@MariogD @Mejson Hey guys, I made a small description here based off of those news events. Here it is below:

Previously on Reduce III...

The team of Mejson, MariogD, Candy (and his ant), and Delsin incidentally joined up with two new faces in Bill and Diablo. Their leader still continues to suffer psychological setbacks in response to the numerous tragedies of the prior events - a fact that is not lost on the newcomers. But when you get to present gifts from Mazurek, your partners tend to just go with the flow.

Nevertheless, everything they touch continues to turn to dust it seems, as a new foe in a large, mutated spider results in the loss of Diablo, as well as a drastic injury to Bill. Once more, exploration bears the survivors little fruit at such grave cost.

But little fruit doesn't mean what's there isn't worth their weight in gold - after felling the arachnid, the remaining team finds a couple cocoons their size. Cutting them open reveals two new - and effective recruits: the boastful assassin, Mr. Mate, and the nutty shovel-head of a biologist, Bott*.

Only time will tell what this team of survivors will do to escape the grass forest's innumerable dangers now. And if they might ever be able to confront the one who put them all in this dreadful situation...

Also, I have the completed voice files (all .m4a, and <= 5 sec. long) and by EoD I'll be able to upload them to your message to me about the script, @Mejson . :)

OK, super! I like it! :)

I have questions / interpretations:

1. So better 'Previously on Reduce 3...' than 'Previously in part one...'? I understand you are right - OK :)

2. In this excerpt: 'Only time will tell what this team of survivors will do to escape the grass forest's innumerable dangers now. And if they might ever be able to confront the one who put them all in this dreadful situation...'. 'Grass forest's' is this some kind of metaphor? Why the grass?

3. So where will you send me the file? XD I won't open the .m4a format. Only .mp3 format. 5sec. long? Not too strong compression?

@Mejson @Mejson Hey Mejson,

We can probably leave it out. Up until this point, there has been a lot of trekking through tall grass in the story, so that just came naturally.

As for the M4A files, I remember you sending a direct message which I'll reply to with the zip file full of them. However, you cannot open .m4a? The way I understood the file type, it was merely an update to the .mp3 format with higher audio quality.

Not certain how I can convert the audio. Did it many years back with Audacity, but given recent events with that, can't do it now.

Text like @MariogD wrote below. Thanks for the text! Cool and interesting as always!

Okay, send it in .m4a format. My brother and I will sort this out somehow. Waiting for files on PM.

@Animetion24
Thank you for your time. Description is exactly what I imagined!
If you mind I want to change two things:
1. inclusion "and his ant" is redundant. Personally I would stay only with humans.
2. In Reduce 3 we change environment from backyard to veranda, so I would change "to escape the grass forest's innumerable dangers now" to "to escape the veranda's innumerable dangers now" -> @Mejson please confirm.

I have problem with "Previously in part one" (I remember we have discussed it internally earlier), but it sounds ... strange. It is obvious that part one was previously ( before part 2) so maybe we should stay with @Animetion24 proposition "Previously on Reduce III...". It sounds more natural.

Yes, brilliant!

1. Okay, at your discretion brother, we will.
2. Also @MariogD is right.

Cool, I agree with @Animetion24, but it's: "Previously on Reduce 3...".

@Mejson Done. Sent a reply to the PM with a dump link. Check it out. :)

Thanks, ok, I can officially say that we have all VA ready for Reduce 3 - Part I. :)

@Mejson Hey Mejson and co., excellent to hear that my voice files worked out.

Eager to see the next post in due time. ^^

Hehehe, well It's successful because your character (Delsin) is very cool, composed and your recording will never deviate from expectations because there are no strange emotions in this case XD

Scene 10 is already written, but I have to improve it with @MariogD because it turned out to be quite "flat".